Sounds...

Most of the time, I don't realize it, think about it, or even notice it. But sometimes, I can't ignore it, get away from it, or escape from it. Having a disability has never slowed me down, gotten in my way or made a difference. But these last few years, I have notice that slowly, my life is changing around this one fact. I don't go to the movies anymore. I have to have closed captions. I can't hear well on the phone. The more people in the group, the quieter I become. Driving in a car is bad and driving in a car at night is even worse. Hard to read lips and drive at the same time and forget about doing that when it is dark! And that little buzzing/ringing I always had - it is now a loud buzzing/ringing sound at times. Just D R I V E S me bonkers! Sometimes, I can't fall asleep because of that noise. Makes me want to pop a sleeping pill or something! Anything to get rid of the sound. While it is true that my hearing problem does not define who I am as a person, it most certainly defines my actions and activities anymore. I can honestly say that I feel out of touch with things a lot and thinking it will not be getting any better.

Well, it happened. After almost five months of trying to go back to school, it is a done deal. I start classes on the 23rd of this month. Now that I am finally here, I think I am scared spitless! What the heck was I thinking? Okay, one class at a time. I can do it! The scary stuff is all the things that they are sending me since yesterday. I have to do this, I have to do that, oh and don't forget this and that too. Breathing slowly now, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt.

Okay, I CAN do this, I know I can. I just am feeling a little ovewhelmed and need to sort through all this material. This too shall pass :)

One day at a time, folks - that I can handle!