Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Tired...

Tired of working, tired of feeling like crud, tired of being lied to, tired, tired, tired!!!

Last week was an eye opening event for me. Having to work 6 hours mandatory overtime isn't a problem, but it is if there is a holiday in that work week and my hours won't be overtime rate. That is just pissy on the part of the company in my opinion. It is one thing to ask for volunteers and another to make it mandatory. But yet, management is not working overtime....this BURNS my ASS!! You NEVER ask your employees to do something that you are not willing to do yourself. Basic 101 business. Truth of the matter, would management done anything to help with the problem or just BE THERE? Give you one guess.

I have been sick since before Christmas and I think I am getting better, then more symptoms start appearing. Just called the doctor and my doctor is out this week. Okay, let me see one of the other doctors then. No, in order to see one of the other three doctors in this practice, the doctor has to give approval - WHAT? Are you for real? I think it is time for me to find another doctor. I have been feeling this way since last year and I believe this has just made the final decision. Problem is I hate looking for a new doctor when I am sick....it smacks of desperation. Maybe I can try to continue for a few more days and doctor this myself.

I am too tired to continue - I want to go back to sleep but need to get ready for work. I am tired, did I mention that?

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Start

It is one thing for me to plan or know that I will be alone on New Year's Eve, and another to have someone cancel at the last minute. It isn't so much that we planned to 'DO' anything really, but at least we had plans. To get the call about the day before AND seven hours after speaking to said person with agreement to spend weekend together, very disappointing. What I got was, "I can't speak now, but something has come up; I will call or text you later tonight." Well...it has been THREE effing days now, and I have gone from disappointment to being hurt, angry, and just plain MAD! Makes me feel like something "better" came along! No way in HELL am I calling. If you don't get THAT message, you are in a fairy tale. I THOUGHT we had a better relationship than this, but guess I know where I really stand, ALONE!

This is the first time in a long time, that I have had no resolution for the new year. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Seems like when I make a resolution for the new year, I set myself up for failure. It is your typical loose weight desire ~ since that has not happened in the past, why bother really? It just adds to my icky start to the year.

HOWEVER, one good thing that brought the new year in is the birth of Trever James. My baby had a baby on Saturday morning - big baby at 21 inches long and 8 pounds 11 ounces - ouch! The year 2011 has brought three new babies into my life: Andrew on May 18th; Owen on November 4th; and Trever on December 31st. All boys, all healthy, and all very much loved. I can't wait to meet Owen and Trever. I hope it is before they start walking - Landon was almost two when I met him for the first time! Man, the kids are growing up, where has the time gone?

Being sick this past weekend - lots of C O U G H I N G - makes me wonder if I should still go for the flu shot. I am thinking that the shot would have helped me over the Christmas/New Year holiday from being sick, but maybe the duration would not have been so long? I was ready to call the doctor on Friday but took a swing for the better, so didn't. Then spent Friday night, Saturday and most of Sunday wishing that I had picked up that dang phone and called! Now, I feel that I have it under control, or at least it is a lot calmer than it was - not feeling like I have to pee each time I cough anyway.

Lots of thinking this past week - need a new job. Do I stay in COMO or try to get back in KC? I really had not made a final choice, but after this weekend, I think I am headed back to KC. I looked for my resume, but I have yet to locate it. I think it may be on the old, I mean really old hard drive. Which means I will have to start from scratch. I gave up looking, started again, gave up again, and finally gave it one last hurrah - no luck. Wonder if I could 'borrow' the one that I sent into ASIFlex from my personal file? Hahahaha! Wouldn't that be letting the horse out of the barn?

My final decision is that while I was looking at my job as being a part of a team, it really is just a job to the management at the office. Things are going down hill in a hurry there and with JMR in his 60's, I just don't want to risk being in MY 60's and having to look for a job. Better to do it now then wait. Plus I really liked living in KC and have always had my eye on going back one day. That time has arrived ~ if the job can be located. First plan of action - resume!