Second Week, Class One

I am already thinking that I am glad it is only a 3 week class! End of the second week was Monday and the last three days of that week were TERRIBLE! Team Project due on Monday at midnight. We have known about it since the syllabus came out, but no one really started on it until after week one. Well the project is worth 25 points right? There are four topics for 4 points each. It just so happens that there are four people on my team. Seems like easy math to me!

WRONG!! Of the 4 topics, I felt comfortable writing on any one of them, so I put out a message to my other team members letting them know that. I told them that if anyone had a preference take it and I would pick left overs (basically, just not in those words). Not only did all topics get picked, the person that picked two already started the PowerPoint presentation with her two topics! BITCH! Yes, I said it and meant it. She KNEW what she was doing, you can't tell me that she didn't.

I shot off an email to everyone and was blunt. I asked how this was fair. I was assured that there were enough other things for me to do to contribute to the project. I took my lumps and started working on uniforming the presentation. We had citations on the slides and speaker's notes on the slides, awful I tell you - just awful. I spent almost 7 hours working on it Sunday and knowing that I still had more to do, I sent it out to everyone to review with the intent to finish on Monday before submitting final presentation (not due until midnight). Well these old ladies didn't like that I moved all their stuff around and made it look 'plain'. Excuse me but PowerPoint slides do not tell the story, they just hit the highlighted points. Your speakers notes tell the story.

Final presentation had nothing, I mean nothing from me in the way of contributed information or materials. As a TEAM, whatever grade is received is given to all members. It bothered me so much that I was awake at two in the morning. I couldn't stop thinking about it and started crying. After about 30 minutes of crying, I started writing a letter to the professor. Mostly, it was therapeutic in nature, but part of me knew that I would be sending it. Okay, do not do anything rash! I reviewed it, changed it and saved it. I sent it to myself at work. At 6 a.m. I laid back down for a nap.

On my way to work, I called my advisor...didn't tell her about the letter but did tell her about the project. First thing she tells me, you need to tell your professor. Okay - I felt better writing the letter; I felt better talking to her; and you know what? I felt better when I sent the letter. I hear that it is campus policy that professors have to answer withing 2 days so we shall see.

I now have a paper that I need to write, on my own, that is due on Monday, again at midnight. Going to go do some research now. Good thing that library online is open 24 hours!

First Week, Class One

Today marks the end of my first week of online class. I have to say, it is a little overwhelming. I didn't have Internet until Saturday, four days after class started. The same class started again tomorrow, so I was just going to take it then. But NOOOOOO! It would make a difference in my financial aid, so I went to talk to JMR (the big man at work). I explained my situation and he graciously allowed me to use my computer at work last week until I got my Internet working Saturday. I spent so much time at the office and even if I wasn't working all that time, I am sick of my corner!

I think the people on my team are smarter and more verse than I am. Not to say that I don't have an opinion, but I think they are better at putting their thoughts on paper. Sigh, here I am beating myself up already! I think I am the only one that is going with the MHA/Gerontology field, so this is only one class that is 3 weeks long. One week down and two more to go for Class One.

What the blazes have I done now?

Sounds...

Most of the time, I don't realize it, think about it, or even notice it. But sometimes, I can't ignore it, get away from it, or escape from it. Having a disability has never slowed me down, gotten in my way or made a difference. But these last few years, I have notice that slowly, my life is changing around this one fact. I don't go to the movies anymore. I have to have closed captions. I can't hear well on the phone. The more people in the group, the quieter I become. Driving in a car is bad and driving in a car at night is even worse. Hard to read lips and drive at the same time and forget about doing that when it is dark! And that little buzzing/ringing I always had - it is now a loud buzzing/ringing sound at times. Just D R I V E S me bonkers! Sometimes, I can't fall asleep because of that noise. Makes me want to pop a sleeping pill or something! Anything to get rid of the sound. While it is true that my hearing problem does not define who I am as a person, it most certainly defines my actions and activities anymore. I can honestly say that I feel out of touch with things a lot and thinking it will not be getting any better.

Well, it happened. After almost five months of trying to go back to school, it is a done deal. I start classes on the 23rd of this month. Now that I am finally here, I think I am scared spitless! What the heck was I thinking? Okay, one class at a time. I can do it! The scary stuff is all the things that they are sending me since yesterday. I have to do this, I have to do that, oh and don't forget this and that too. Breathing slowly now, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt.

Okay, I CAN do this, I know I can. I just am feeling a little ovewhelmed and need to sort through all this material. This too shall pass :)

One day at a time, folks - that I can handle!

Changes are a good thing, right?

Change is coming my way. I am convinced that this is what I need in my life right now. I have decided to go back to school and work on a Master in Business Administration with an emphasis in Health Care. I tried to go for the Master in Health Care Administration but you have to be working with patients, in a doctor's office, etc. What's up with that? Anywhooo, it will be alright. Classes start on September 15th, so watch out world, here I come!

Why would someone of my age, who has been out of school 30 years as of this summer, decide to go back to school? Well several reasons actually. I first started thinking of this when I heard that government was doing a health care reform which meant my job may be in jeopardy. You see the government now has to think up ways to make more money since they have to pay for the auto industry bail out, the bank bail out, the war, the cash for clunker program, all those stimulus packages that was created. The FSA plan allows people to save taxes and if you eliminate the plan or put a cap on it, then the money that WAS being saved now goes to the government. Wow! Now they can start paying on their bills. However, this means eliminating my job and unless I can find another one (sure, in this economy that will be a breeze), the government will be paying for expenses for me to live on, eat on, be well, and hell? Why am I worried? I probably have a better chance at being okay sitting home and doing nothing....not!

In addition to that, I now have a crappy insurance plan at work. The deductible is $2500 per calendar year. Only, the change was made in the middle of my plan year for FSA and I can't change my elections. Oh wait, more money for the government. I probably make as much sense as the government or new health care reform at this point!

I am also going to Dave Ramsey financial classes as of next week. If only I actually apply what I learn, I might have a chance :) I hope that this will help me financially in the future as well.

AND.....starting next Wednesday, work is having another 16 week Biggest Loser campaign to lose weight. I thought why not? I don't have anything else going on, right? I really didn't do too bad the last go around (16 weeks) considering that I was off my feet and healing from surgery. Only a .2 pound gain overall. Good thing I walked my ass off the first part of the program!

So, what is new in your life may I ask?

Life's Blessings

To some, being rich means having lots of money. To me, it means much more than that.

To some, family means the group of people to which you were born, and thus inherited. To me, it means much more than that.

To some, being lucky means being successful at everything you do. To me, it means much more than that.

To some, being blessed means being lucky, being rich and having a family. To me it means much more - way more than that!

I recently had foot surgery, again. Having hammertoe is a pain in the foot, pun intended. Having to ask for help really is a major problem for me. When I had foot surgery the first time, I had to ask for help getting to the surgery center and back. I was lucky enough to have a person in my life (thanks Deann) that was able and willing to do this for me. I had people check in on me, call me, and etc., for which I was grateful. This time, I had to ask for much more than that.

You've heard the saying that you don't chose the family into which you are born, right? Where would I be without my chosen family? I have a sign in my kitchen that says "Friends are the family ones finds along the way." This is so true for me and how lucky am I? I am truly blessed with my chosen family. When I pass on, I want/need to have my chosen family sitting with my family into which I was born. They are as important, and at times more so than others, as my blood family. I expressed this to Deann this past weekend and the more I think of this, the more I am determined to make this an absolute (no I am not being morbid, but did have a funeral recently that has me thinking).

I don't consider myself to be a friend to the world, however I feel that I do try to be helpful to anyone in need. I am very picky about those that I call my friend. I really don't have a lot but the ones that I do have have been around for a long time. I am not opposed to meeting and making new friends, but it takes a lot for a person to be considered my true friend. I have those that I call a friend and they are in the lighter sense of the word. But when push comes to shove, I have my family friends and they know who they are.

I would do just about anything for my friends, but for my family friends I WILL do ANYTHING, all they have to do is say the word. It has just taken me this long to realize that this is a two way street and they will do ANYTHING for me, all I had to do was say the word. This last surgery period has been a testament to this. I had a situation that required some transferring of me from one family friend member to another. WOW! Did they come through for me or what?!

I am blessed! I am rich with family friends that makes me feel rich and lucky.

GOD Bless America

I am so tired of the group of people who hang around the main corner down town with their signs that say 'HONK FOR PEACE' or 'BRING OUR TROOPS HOME' or 'END THE WAR'. Do they not realize that we have to defend our country? While I don't agree that Bush started this over the 'mass weapons' possibility, I believe he really wanted to strike back for the 9/11 disaster, without those men and women overseas, these people would not even have the right to congregate on that corner. It is their right, I am just tired of it.

The freedom to do what we do is what it is all about. Regardless of where you fit on the thought scale about the war, you have the right to feel, think and act on it however the law allows. If standing on the corner suits your style, go for it. I am still tired of it.

Those people that died in 9/11 were casualty of a war, one that was not started by us, but was aimed at us, the United States of America. There is no question of this fact. There are those that hate Americans, can't stand Americans and plot against Americans. This was directed toward Americans. I am proud to be an American.

I am further proud of the men and women who serve our country. These are the people who loved our land, our people, our country so much that they made the decision to protect 'US' at a cost. To some, that cost may very well be there life. How does a person say Thank You? It is hard. The prayers I say for them are small in comparison to the prayers that they need to get through this, sustain the strength to overcome the things they have seen, been through and will feel for the rest of their lives.

I live in a great and wonderful country.
Thank you to those that serve this country.
Thank you to those that gave their lives on behalf of my country.
Those people on the corner, they thank you too.