Do you think everyone deserves a second chance? What about a third, fourth, fifth or more in chances? What about the circumstances?
I have to say I am all about chances and give second chances in most cases. I have even given some a third, fourth - yes, call me sucker. I am not sure if that makes me a better person or a stupid person. I have always been the person that sees the glass half full versus the glass have empty. I usually am able to allow people to show me what type of person they are rather than tell me. The person that tells me their life story the first time we meet, I already tend to not trust them. You don't know me from Adam and you are telling me THIS?
A person that is abusive due to an illness, alcohol or mental for example, they have to hit rock bottom and we can't prevent them from that trip. If they self-destruct along the way, we can't feel guilty or think we had a choice. We don't and are not doing any favors to that person by enabling them to continue the abusiveness.
My sister is on a path of self-destruction. She has messed up her relationship with two of her older children and simply messed up the youngest. As I spoke with the oldest child today, I reflected back on the number of chances I gave her. If it had not been for the kids, I would have written her off a long time ago and perhaps that is why things happen when they happen. She needed to be there for the kids and now that the last one has graduated high school, it is time to let her 'loose'. Will she learn? That is hard to say. Will she adapt? No doubt as she is a survivor. Will she hit rock bottom? Not as long as there is someone who buys her bullshit and enables her to continue. Will she change? No, I can say that with certainty. Why? Because her core has always been selfish and self-centered.
It is a hard lesson for her children to learn, harder on the oldest as she is a nurturer at heart (she follows her grandmother's gene). She has repeatedly allowed her mother to abuse her, mentally and financially (I am not going there with the physical possibility). Similar to when she was younger and I allowed this to continue. I can't play the what if game or it will drive me BONKERS!
I really have no regrets regarding my life. Any and all mistakes I have made were mine and allowed me to grow and experience life. But I do regret that I didn't do something when I was thinking about it back in the 1990's. I don't know how far I would have gotten, but I should have prevailed to start procedures to take those kids away from my sister. Some of the stories I have heard from the older kids tear my heart to pieces....I didn't know! Had I known, life would have been so different for me and those precious darlings.
You can't turn back time and you can't change the things that have happened. I still think people deserve second chances...and third, and fourth, etc. As long as they are trying to get it right, they deserve the chance. It is when they are not trying or when they are faking it or when they are being manipulative - that's when you have to draw the line.
I care about my sister, I just don't care for her. THAT makes me feel bad about myself, but I call it self-preservation. My mom says she is your sister - all that means to me is that we share the same DNA - period. Sisterhood is different than being sisters. I have the sisterhood, these are my sisters in heart. Much more important to me than sister by blood. The truth is in the pudding.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Tired...
Tired of working, tired of feeling like crud, tired of being lied to, tired, tired, tired!!!
Last week was an eye opening event for me. Having to work 6 hours mandatory overtime isn't a problem, but it is if there is a holiday in that work week and my hours won't be overtime rate. That is just pissy on the part of the company in my opinion. It is one thing to ask for volunteers and another to make it mandatory. But yet, management is not working overtime....this BURNS my ASS!! You NEVER ask your employees to do something that you are not willing to do yourself. Basic 101 business. Truth of the matter, would management done anything to help with the problem or just BE THERE? Give you one guess.
I have been sick since before Christmas and I think I am getting better, then more symptoms start appearing. Just called the doctor and my doctor is out this week. Okay, let me see one of the other doctors then. No, in order to see one of the other three doctors in this practice, the doctor has to give approval - WHAT? Are you for real? I think it is time for me to find another doctor. I have been feeling this way since last year and I believe this has just made the final decision. Problem is I hate looking for a new doctor when I am sick....it smacks of desperation. Maybe I can try to continue for a few more days and doctor this myself.
I am too tired to continue - I want to go back to sleep but need to get ready for work. I am tired, did I mention that?
Last week was an eye opening event for me. Having to work 6 hours mandatory overtime isn't a problem, but it is if there is a holiday in that work week and my hours won't be overtime rate. That is just pissy on the part of the company in my opinion. It is one thing to ask for volunteers and another to make it mandatory. But yet, management is not working overtime....this BURNS my ASS!! You NEVER ask your employees to do something that you are not willing to do yourself. Basic 101 business. Truth of the matter, would management done anything to help with the problem or just BE THERE? Give you one guess.
I have been sick since before Christmas and I think I am getting better, then more symptoms start appearing. Just called the doctor and my doctor is out this week. Okay, let me see one of the other doctors then. No, in order to see one of the other three doctors in this practice, the doctor has to give approval - WHAT? Are you for real? I think it is time for me to find another doctor. I have been feeling this way since last year and I believe this has just made the final decision. Problem is I hate looking for a new doctor when I am sick....it smacks of desperation. Maybe I can try to continue for a few more days and doctor this myself.
I am too tired to continue - I want to go back to sleep but need to get ready for work. I am tired, did I mention that?
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Start
It is one thing for me to plan or know that I will be alone on New Year's Eve, and another to have someone cancel at the last minute. It isn't so much that we planned to 'DO' anything really, but at least we had plans. To get the call about the day before AND seven hours after speaking to said person with agreement to spend weekend together, very disappointing. What I got was, "I can't speak now, but something has come up; I will call or text you later tonight." Well...it has been THREE effing days now, and I have gone from disappointment to being hurt, angry, and just plain MAD! Makes me feel like something "better" came along! No way in HELL am I calling. If you don't get THAT message, you are in a fairy tale. I THOUGHT we had a better relationship than this, but guess I know where I really stand, ALONE!
This is the first time in a long time, that I have had no resolution for the new year. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Seems like when I make a resolution for the new year, I set myself up for failure. It is your typical loose weight desire ~ since that has not happened in the past, why bother really? It just adds to my icky start to the year.
HOWEVER, one good thing that brought the new year in is the birth of Trever James. My baby had a baby on Saturday morning - big baby at 21 inches long and 8 pounds 11 ounces - ouch! The year 2011 has brought three new babies into my life: Andrew on May 18th; Owen on November 4th; and Trever on December 31st. All boys, all healthy, and all very much loved. I can't wait to meet Owen and Trever. I hope it is before they start walking - Landon was almost two when I met him for the first time! Man, the kids are growing up, where has the time gone?
Being sick this past weekend - lots of C O U G H I N G - makes me wonder if I should still go for the flu shot. I am thinking that the shot would have helped me over the Christmas/New Year holiday from being sick, but maybe the duration would not have been so long? I was ready to call the doctor on Friday but took a swing for the better, so didn't. Then spent Friday night, Saturday and most of Sunday wishing that I had picked up that dang phone and called! Now, I feel that I have it under control, or at least it is a lot calmer than it was - not feeling like I have to pee each time I cough anyway.
Lots of thinking this past week - need a new job. Do I stay in COMO or try to get back in KC? I really had not made a final choice, but after this weekend, I think I am headed back to KC. I looked for my resume, but I have yet to locate it. I think it may be on the old, I mean really old hard drive. Which means I will have to start from scratch. I gave up looking, started again, gave up again, and finally gave it one last hurrah - no luck. Wonder if I could 'borrow' the one that I sent into ASIFlex from my personal file? Hahahaha! Wouldn't that be letting the horse out of the barn?
My final decision is that while I was looking at my job as being a part of a team, it really is just a job to the management at the office. Things are going down hill in a hurry there and with JMR in his 60's, I just don't want to risk being in MY 60's and having to look for a job. Better to do it now then wait. Plus I really liked living in KC and have always had my eye on going back one day. That time has arrived ~ if the job can be located. First plan of action - resume!
This is the first time in a long time, that I have had no resolution for the new year. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Seems like when I make a resolution for the new year, I set myself up for failure. It is your typical loose weight desire ~ since that has not happened in the past, why bother really? It just adds to my icky start to the year.
HOWEVER, one good thing that brought the new year in is the birth of Trever James. My baby had a baby on Saturday morning - big baby at 21 inches long and 8 pounds 11 ounces - ouch! The year 2011 has brought three new babies into my life: Andrew on May 18th; Owen on November 4th; and Trever on December 31st. All boys, all healthy, and all very much loved. I can't wait to meet Owen and Trever. I hope it is before they start walking - Landon was almost two when I met him for the first time! Man, the kids are growing up, where has the time gone?
Being sick this past weekend - lots of C O U G H I N G - makes me wonder if I should still go for the flu shot. I am thinking that the shot would have helped me over the Christmas/New Year holiday from being sick, but maybe the duration would not have been so long? I was ready to call the doctor on Friday but took a swing for the better, so didn't. Then spent Friday night, Saturday and most of Sunday wishing that I had picked up that dang phone and called! Now, I feel that I have it under control, or at least it is a lot calmer than it was - not feeling like I have to pee each time I cough anyway.
Lots of thinking this past week - need a new job. Do I stay in COMO or try to get back in KC? I really had not made a final choice, but after this weekend, I think I am headed back to KC. I looked for my resume, but I have yet to locate it. I think it may be on the old, I mean really old hard drive. Which means I will have to start from scratch. I gave up looking, started again, gave up again, and finally gave it one last hurrah - no luck. Wonder if I could 'borrow' the one that I sent into ASIFlex from my personal file? Hahahaha! Wouldn't that be letting the horse out of the barn?
My final decision is that while I was looking at my job as being a part of a team, it really is just a job to the management at the office. Things are going down hill in a hurry there and with JMR in his 60's, I just don't want to risk being in MY 60's and having to look for a job. Better to do it now then wait. Plus I really liked living in KC and have always had my eye on going back one day. That time has arrived ~ if the job can be located. First plan of action - resume!
Monday, May 3, 2010
It's not just about school even though sometimes I feel like it is!
This has been a couple of hectic weeks in my life. Since February, I have been battling UTI symptoms. I work up early one morning and was first in line at the convenience clinic. First round of antibiotic worked but was told that if the abdominal pain persisted, make an appointment with my physician. Oh by the way, you have blood in your urine as I am practically walking out the door. White blood cells that is. Working mandatory overtime as well as being in pain - yuck!
Following week, I am at my doctor's office and lab shows I still have WBC in my urine. The pain has diminished some but still present. Let's go have a scan done to make sure that you don't have kidney stones. Round two of antibiotics. Still working mandatory overtime. Stones are not present.
Following week, I am at my doctor's office and lab shows I still have WBC in my urine. The pain has diminished some but still present. Let's go have a scan done to make sure that you don't have kidney stones. Round two of antibiotics. Still working mandatory overtime. Stones are not present.
Two weeks later, I am being told to come back to the doctor's office for another lab to check the WBC. I tell them, I am covered 100% if I go to Lab One, so give me an order slip, I will check in there and we can see what the result is. I get a phone call from the doctor's office on Tuesday (Thursday was the pee date), the specimen could not be used as it was too old. I called the lab and of course it was the courier's fault, not the person that had the cup. Still working mandatory overtime, but pain in abdominal area comes and goes.
Two weeks from the last time I arrived at Lab One, I come again for a pee cup. I get a call on Wednesday from my doctor's office. Specimen could not be used as the identification did not match. WTH does that mean? I called headquarters to find out. The dumb rod at the lab wrote Ashland on my specimen and as that did not match the doctor's orders or my name, they pitched the golden nectar. Still working mandatory overtime and stress level is off the charts!
Day after doctor's office called, I found out that with the change in our insurance plan, Lab One is not 100% covered and I have worked by self through all this garbage for nothing. I walked across the parking lot to Boyce and Bynum for a pee! Damn, could that toilet be any closer to the ground now? How the hell do they expect an adult to hold a cup and squat as if they were outside in the bushes I ask you? That afternoon, phone call from the doctor's office, I have WBC still and third round of antibiotics. Mandatory overtime, stress, burned-out, hating my office, my job and you name it!
OY! Two weeks later I feel like crap. Left work early on Tuesday I felt so bad. I am coughing up a lung (well my ribs hurt so much from the coughing that is what it felt like) and thank goodness I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor. I get there to pee in a cup and found out that was all they wanted me to do. Oh no - you are so going to see me! I took off from work for this when I could have gone across the parking lot again - no, no, no! I was there for almost two hours. Pee still had WBC, had to have a breathing treatment, stopped by Walgreen's to get the drugs and crawled into bed for the medicine to take effect. Mandatory overtime, I have been off 2 1/2 days without pay as I am out of sick time, feeling lousy, want my mommy, can't breath, just ready to die (so of course I will live!).
Time to visit the specialist now as three rounds of antibiotics should clear up the WBC but it hasn't. Appointment made for 4/26/10, the Monday after the 50th anniversary weekend for the parents. Thursday a.m. in the middle of the night, I wake up HURTING like crazy with UTI symptoms again. OMG!!! I called the doctor's office to get some antibiotic for the pain. They called me to tell me the order was made at Walgreen's and in the course of the conversation, oh wait! Don't you have an appointment at the Urologist on Monday? If you take this, you will not be able to give a good specimen. Get some AZO OTC stuff and if you can tough it out, that is what they recommend. Mandatory overtime, but maybe the last one for a while, pain is almost unbearable, 50th weekend plans and stuff I need to do.
Weekend went well, but I was miserable the entire time. I fell asleep around midnight on Saturday/Sunday with the TV on and was awake from 2 to 5:30 and probably went to the bathroom 7 or 8 times in that time frame. My dad thinks I was up until 5:30 just because that was when I turned the TV off. It took all my energy to not make my problem an issue during the weekend. The emotional and physical strain was too much, really.
Monday - appointment with the Urologist. The want me to use this port-a-pot like you see in the rest home with a cone shaped funnel in place for you to pee into for a flow to some sort of meter. I kid you not, that chairwas about 24 inches wide and I don't know if you have noticed, but my ass passed that mark a long time ago. So I peed in the cup as normally prior to examination. The doctor comes in takes one look and says I am positive you have a yeast infection and nothing wrong with your bladder. I am a bladder man, not a gynecologist, but I will do a catheter of your bladder to eliminate the possibility of the bladder. In the meantime, the man gives me a prescription for yeast infection. Most women take one or two pills - I get 7 days worth. Tell you anything? Problem is I am showing UTI symptoms and yeast infection symptoms (not really, but some) and yet, there is something telling me that this is not it.
Day 6 of infection - shouldn't I be feeling some relief. My doctor wants me to go get an ultra sound to check for cyst on my ovaries as the abdominal pain is still present, coming and going. I drink my quart of water and just didn't output the amount I should have. She sure did take a lot of pictures so I was sure that I had a cyst, it was big and moving around (to account for the pain not always present). Mandatory overtime no more!
Day 7 of infection - damn it I HURT! Every time I urinate, at the end it is all I can do to not scream or cry. I really HURT!!! Something just is not right, Urologist's office called my cell phone that afternoon while I am working (it is turned off like a good person that I am). I can't get anyone at the office, so I call the hospital to have the Dr. call me back from home. I want some relief now. Of course, he doesn't have that information at home and can't call in my prescription. I have to wait until the next day. Can't even tell me the problem so all I know is that the bladder is the problem.
Day 8 of infection - just stick a needle in me now, I am done. I can't take anymore and we all know I have no tolerance for pain in the first place. I have e-coli infection (don't ask me how) and prescription is ready. I should see some improvement by the second dosage. I was not able to get off work to pick up the medicine until done for the day, so there is a Day 9 in the horizon. Doctor's office called - the ultra sound was good and my ovaries are fine. Okay, so what is the problem with the pain in my abdominal area may I ask? The infection apparently. I am not sure if this is correct or if I am just having problems with the fact that this was not caught sooner.
Day 9 of infection - it is true that improvement was seen after the second dosage but still having some issues. Not needing to scream or cry when urinating does indicate it is working. However, pain in abdomen is making itself known more often than not now. Hoping that by the end of the day I am feeling even more like myself as Ginny is coming to spend the weekend and don't want it to be me being crabby. Saturday is Georgetown garage sale and I want to go feeling well, not sick. I have met more than half my deductible with this crap...what could I have done differently and what could my doctor have done differently? Plenty I am sure. It has been two and a half months of hell, let me tell you but I think I am going to live.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Class Two, Week Three
Yep - I skipped a posting. Too much to do and not enough time to do it! Team project completed and moving onto individual project for weeks four, five and six. I have to come up with a change from my workplace and man do we need change AND FAST! Have to do another 8 hours mandatory overtime this weekend. I am booked already, not only this weekend but the other two weekends during the month. I just don't understand why our overtime has to be from 5 pm Friday to Sunday - as long as you are getting my overtime, why the hell should you get to dictate WHEN I do them? I already told them I had plans this weekend. It is not just about me this time, but other people are involved too. Why should I be the one to change everything just for work? I am working to live, not living to work. Bah humbug....
Enough bitchiness for the day, moving on. Had a nice visit with my mom and dad this Easter weekend. I also got to meet with the photographer and Stonehedge head person for the anniversary dinner. Getting cake, flowers and table decorations this week. Still thinking on the banner if I want to go that far or not...probably not. Need to get the video camera ordered too.
I think I have said enough for two weeks worth of work - counting helps; 15 classes, one down and 14 left to go!
Enough bitchiness for the day, moving on. Had a nice visit with my mom and dad this Easter weekend. I also got to meet with the photographer and Stonehedge head person for the anniversary dinner. Getting cake, flowers and table decorations this week. Still thinking on the banner if I want to go that far or not...probably not. Need to get the video camera ordered too.
I think I have said enough for two weeks worth of work - counting helps; 15 classes, one down and 14 left to go!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Class Two, Week One
I am getting a little behind as it is almost end of week two from class two. I told my dad the other day, 15 classes, one down and 14 more to go! My mom sent me an email and asked how school was going. Then she asked me if I was having fun...can't say that I am. It is very much a dedication and determination thing for me right now.
I am slightly out of the norm in this class as almost all the others are nurses, work in a hospital, or a on 'THAT' side of the health care street. Discussions between class members count as participation and 'attendance'. It is hard for me to be part of a discussion when I have no related working experience. Several members are working in Labor and Delivery - can't say that I can even relate as a patient :)
My professor pissed me off this week. I had done my attendance and was reading comments between other members and something one classmate said triggered a memory. Talking about 'If you want someone to do a good job, you need to give them a good job to do', what that meant to us and if we agreed. One had written that it was not possible for everyone to have the best job as someone still has the toilet cleaning job. What mattered was that this person with the menial task felt important and still part of the team as the vice president of the company as it took everyone to make things happen. I read this and remembered the year I cleaned Gentry Middle School. It wasn't a job I wanted, but needed. I always had several teachers that were working late in their rooms and found that I was not in any way looked down upon due to my job description. I was still respected as a school employee, person and what I did mattered. I shared.
Here is what was said by "DR ERIC" as he calls himself (hmph!) : Some statements are so vague as to be meaningless. I believe this applies here and given your responses so far...okay is he talking about my responses or the thread of comments at that time? The more I thought about it, the more ticked off I got. Especially since this was placed out in the Main forum where everyone in the class reads. So, I sent him an email. I sent it in my individual forum, just between he and I so waiting to hear back from him. If I don't hear back by tomorrow, I am chatting with my enrollment and academic counselors. I really wanted to call him on this in the Main forum, but I didn't....I was nice, this time. Seriously, don't piss me off!
Well just finished working on group project due next week (Easter for pity sake!). More to do, but I still have individual assignment do finish up that is due tomorrow. I needed a break, so here you find me :) Going to take a break from the computer for a while now then come back with fresh eyes! My motto this week is take me as I am or don't take me at all (which is what I almost shared with the class if you get my drift, hehehe!).
I am slightly out of the norm in this class as almost all the others are nurses, work in a hospital, or a on 'THAT' side of the health care street. Discussions between class members count as participation and 'attendance'. It is hard for me to be part of a discussion when I have no related working experience. Several members are working in Labor and Delivery - can't say that I can even relate as a patient :)
My professor pissed me off this week. I had done my attendance and was reading comments between other members and something one classmate said triggered a memory. Talking about 'If you want someone to do a good job, you need to give them a good job to do', what that meant to us and if we agreed. One had written that it was not possible for everyone to have the best job as someone still has the toilet cleaning job. What mattered was that this person with the menial task felt important and still part of the team as the vice president of the company as it took everyone to make things happen. I read this and remembered the year I cleaned Gentry Middle School. It wasn't a job I wanted, but needed. I always had several teachers that were working late in their rooms and found that I was not in any way looked down upon due to my job description. I was still respected as a school employee, person and what I did mattered. I shared.
Here is what was said by "DR ERIC" as he calls himself (hmph!) : Some statements are so vague as to be meaningless. I believe this applies here and given your responses so far...okay is he talking about my responses or the thread of comments at that time? The more I thought about it, the more ticked off I got. Especially since this was placed out in the Main forum where everyone in the class reads. So, I sent him an email. I sent it in my individual forum, just between he and I so waiting to hear back from him. If I don't hear back by tomorrow, I am chatting with my enrollment and academic counselors. I really wanted to call him on this in the Main forum, but I didn't....I was nice, this time. Seriously, don't piss me off!
Well just finished working on group project due next week (Easter for pity sake!). More to do, but I still have individual assignment do finish up that is due tomorrow. I needed a break, so here you find me :) Going to take a break from the computer for a while now then come back with fresh eyes! My motto this week is take me as I am or don't take me at all (which is what I almost shared with the class if you get my drift, hehehe!).
Friday, March 19, 2010
End of the first class
Note to self...you had it easy and you didn't even know it! I have started the 2nd class. I am feeling slightly out of my comfort zone. I really want to go back to that first class now. I have been waiting to hear about my final grade - I was at A- at the end of week two, so we shall see. Overall, the three weeks went fast. It did not help that I had mandatory overtime two of those three weeks (and again this week). I DO think that without the mandatory overtime, I will be able to feel a little more secure and able to handle the classes.
Every week, there is something and very little time to breathe. I did know this before starting, I just didn't KNOW this. Thinking and doing are two very different things I am finding out.
Participation for classes require talking via online chats with other students. You have a minimum of two topic chats four times a week to be 'there' and it counts toward your grade. First class had only 12 people and not everyone chatted. This class we have double the group and it is much harder to keep track of conversations. Again, wishing for the time I was in first class again :) I will persevere, I promise!
Not sure how I feel about computer and emails for work, computer and chatting for school and now this, computer and journal entry for what should be me relaxing?...OY!!!
Every week, there is something and very little time to breathe. I did know this before starting, I just didn't KNOW this. Thinking and doing are two very different things I am finding out.
Participation for classes require talking via online chats with other students. You have a minimum of two topic chats four times a week to be 'there' and it counts toward your grade. First class had only 12 people and not everyone chatted. This class we have double the group and it is much harder to keep track of conversations. Again, wishing for the time I was in first class again :) I will persevere, I promise!
Not sure how I feel about computer and emails for work, computer and chatting for school and now this, computer and journal entry for what should be me relaxing?...OY!!!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Second Week, Class One
I am already thinking that I am glad it is only a 3 week class! End of the second week was Monday and the last three days of that week were TERRIBLE! Team Project due on Monday at midnight. We have known about it since the syllabus came out, but no one really started on it until after week one. Well the project is worth 25 points right? There are four topics for 4 points each. It just so happens that there are four people on my team. Seems like easy math to me!
WRONG!! Of the 4 topics, I felt comfortable writing on any one of them, so I put out a message to my other team members letting them know that. I told them that if anyone had a preference take it and I would pick left overs (basically, just not in those words). Not only did all topics get picked, the person that picked two already started the PowerPoint presentation with her two topics! BITCH! Yes, I said it and meant it. She KNEW what she was doing, you can't tell me that she didn't.
I shot off an email to everyone and was blunt. I asked how this was fair. I was assured that there were enough other things for me to do to contribute to the project. I took my lumps and started working on uniforming the presentation. We had citations on the slides and speaker's notes on the slides, awful I tell you - just awful. I spent almost 7 hours working on it Sunday and knowing that I still had more to do, I sent it out to everyone to review with the intent to finish on Monday before submitting final presentation (not due until midnight). Well these old ladies didn't like that I moved all their stuff around and made it look 'plain'. Excuse me but PowerPoint slides do not tell the story, they just hit the highlighted points. Your speakers notes tell the story.
Final presentation had nothing, I mean nothing from me in the way of contributed information or materials. As a TEAM, whatever grade is received is given to all members. It bothered me so much that I was awake at two in the morning. I couldn't stop thinking about it and started crying. After about 30 minutes of crying, I started writing a letter to the professor. Mostly, it was therapeutic in nature, but part of me knew that I would be sending it. Okay, do not do anything rash! I reviewed it, changed it and saved it. I sent it to myself at work. At 6 a.m. I laid back down for a nap.
On my way to work, I called my advisor...didn't tell her about the letter but did tell her about the project. First thing she tells me, you need to tell your professor. Okay - I felt better writing the letter; I felt better talking to her; and you know what? I felt better when I sent the letter. I hear that it is campus policy that professors have to answer withing 2 days so we shall see.
I now have a paper that I need to write, on my own, that is due on Monday, again at midnight. Going to go do some research now. Good thing that library online is open 24 hours!
WRONG!! Of the 4 topics, I felt comfortable writing on any one of them, so I put out a message to my other team members letting them know that. I told them that if anyone had a preference take it and I would pick left overs (basically, just not in those words). Not only did all topics get picked, the person that picked two already started the PowerPoint presentation with her two topics! BITCH! Yes, I said it and meant it. She KNEW what she was doing, you can't tell me that she didn't.
I shot off an email to everyone and was blunt. I asked how this was fair. I was assured that there were enough other things for me to do to contribute to the project. I took my lumps and started working on uniforming the presentation. We had citations on the slides and speaker's notes on the slides, awful I tell you - just awful. I spent almost 7 hours working on it Sunday and knowing that I still had more to do, I sent it out to everyone to review with the intent to finish on Monday before submitting final presentation (not due until midnight). Well these old ladies didn't like that I moved all their stuff around and made it look 'plain'. Excuse me but PowerPoint slides do not tell the story, they just hit the highlighted points. Your speakers notes tell the story.
Final presentation had nothing, I mean nothing from me in the way of contributed information or materials. As a TEAM, whatever grade is received is given to all members. It bothered me so much that I was awake at two in the morning. I couldn't stop thinking about it and started crying. After about 30 minutes of crying, I started writing a letter to the professor. Mostly, it was therapeutic in nature, but part of me knew that I would be sending it. Okay, do not do anything rash! I reviewed it, changed it and saved it. I sent it to myself at work. At 6 a.m. I laid back down for a nap.
On my way to work, I called my advisor...didn't tell her about the letter but did tell her about the project. First thing she tells me, you need to tell your professor. Okay - I felt better writing the letter; I felt better talking to her; and you know what? I felt better when I sent the letter. I hear that it is campus policy that professors have to answer withing 2 days so we shall see.
I now have a paper that I need to write, on my own, that is due on Monday, again at midnight. Going to go do some research now. Good thing that library online is open 24 hours!
Monday, March 1, 2010
First Week, Class One
Today marks the end of my first week of online class. I have to say, it is a little overwhelming. I didn't have Internet until Saturday, four days after class started. The same class started again tomorrow, so I was just going to take it then. But NOOOOOO! It would make a difference in my financial aid, so I went to talk to JMR (the big man at work). I explained my situation and he graciously allowed me to use my computer at work last week until I got my Internet working Saturday. I spent so much time at the office and even if I wasn't working all that time, I am sick of my corner!
I think the people on my team are smarter and more verse than I am. Not to say that I don't have an opinion, but I think they are better at putting their thoughts on paper. Sigh, here I am beating myself up already! I think I am the only one that is going with the MHA/Gerontology field, so this is only one class that is 3 weeks long. One week down and two more to go for Class One.
What the blazes have I done now?
I think the people on my team are smarter and more verse than I am. Not to say that I don't have an opinion, but I think they are better at putting their thoughts on paper. Sigh, here I am beating myself up already! I think I am the only one that is going with the MHA/Gerontology field, so this is only one class that is 3 weeks long. One week down and two more to go for Class One.
What the blazes have I done now?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sounds...
Most of the time, I don't realize it, think about it, or even notice it. But sometimes, I can't ignore it, get away from it, or escape from it. Having a disability has never slowed me down, gotten in my way or made a difference. But these last few years, I have notice that slowly, my life is changing around this one fact. I don't go to the movies anymore. I have to have closed captions. I can't hear well on the phone. The more people in the group, the quieter I become. Driving in a car is bad and driving in a car at night is even worse. Hard to read lips and drive at the same time and forget about doing that when it is dark! And that little buzzing/ringing I always had - it is now a loud buzzing/ringing sound at times. Just D R I V E S me bonkers! Sometimes, I can't fall asleep because of that noise. Makes me want to pop a sleeping pill or something! Anything to get rid of the sound. While it is true that my hearing problem does not define who I am as a person, it most certainly defines my actions and activities anymore. I can honestly say that I feel out of touch with things a lot and thinking it will not be getting any better.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Well, it happened. After almost five months of trying to go back to school, it is a done deal. I start classes on the 23rd of this month. Now that I am finally here, I think I am scared spitless! What the heck was I thinking? Okay, one class at a time. I can do it! The scary stuff is all the things that they are sending me since yesterday. I have to do this, I have to do that, oh and don't forget this and that too. Breathing slowly now, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt, innnnn and outtttt.
Okay, I CAN do this, I know I can. I just am feeling a little ovewhelmed and need to sort through all this material. This too shall pass :)
One day at a time, folks - that I can handle!
Okay, I CAN do this, I know I can. I just am feeling a little ovewhelmed and need to sort through all this material. This too shall pass :)
One day at a time, folks - that I can handle!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Changes are a good thing, right?
Change is coming my way. I am convinced that this is what I need in my life right now. I have decided to go back to school and work on a Master in Business Administration with an emphasis in Health Care. I tried to go for the Master in Health Care Administration but you have to be working with patients, in a doctor's office, etc. What's up with that? Anywhooo, it will be alright. Classes start on September 15th, so watch out world, here I come!
Why would someone of my age, who has been out of school 30 years as of this summer, decide to go back to school? Well several reasons actually. I first started thinking of this when I heard that government was doing a health care reform which meant my job may be in jeopardy. You see the government now has to think up ways to make more money since they have to pay for the auto industry bail out, the bank bail out, the war, the cash for clunker program, all those stimulus packages that was created. The FSA plan allows people to save taxes and if you eliminate the plan or put a cap on it, then the money that WAS being saved now goes to the government. Wow! Now they can start paying on their bills. However, this means eliminating my job and unless I can find another one (sure, in this economy that will be a breeze), the government will be paying for expenses for me to live on, eat on, be well, and hell? Why am I worried? I probably have a better chance at being okay sitting home and doing nothing....not!
In addition to that, I now have a crappy insurance plan at work. The deductible is $2500 per calendar year. Only, the change was made in the middle of my plan year for FSA and I can't change my elections. Oh wait, more money for the government. I probably make as much sense as the government or new health care reform at this point!
I am also going to Dave Ramsey financial classes as of next week. If only I actually apply what I learn, I might have a chance :) I hope that this will help me financially in the future as well.
AND.....starting next Wednesday, work is having another 16 week Biggest Loser campaign to lose weight. I thought why not? I don't have anything else going on, right? I really didn't do too bad the last go around (16 weeks) considering that I was off my feet and healing from surgery. Only a .2 pound gain overall. Good thing I walked my ass off the first part of the program!
So, what is new in your life may I ask?
Why would someone of my age, who has been out of school 30 years as of this summer, decide to go back to school? Well several reasons actually. I first started thinking of this when I heard that government was doing a health care reform which meant my job may be in jeopardy. You see the government now has to think up ways to make more money since they have to pay for the auto industry bail out, the bank bail out, the war, the cash for clunker program, all those stimulus packages that was created. The FSA plan allows people to save taxes and if you eliminate the plan or put a cap on it, then the money that WAS being saved now goes to the government. Wow! Now they can start paying on their bills. However, this means eliminating my job and unless I can find another one (sure, in this economy that will be a breeze), the government will be paying for expenses for me to live on, eat on, be well, and hell? Why am I worried? I probably have a better chance at being okay sitting home and doing nothing....not!
In addition to that, I now have a crappy insurance plan at work. The deductible is $2500 per calendar year. Only, the change was made in the middle of my plan year for FSA and I can't change my elections. Oh wait, more money for the government. I probably make as much sense as the government or new health care reform at this point!
I am also going to Dave Ramsey financial classes as of next week. If only I actually apply what I learn, I might have a chance :) I hope that this will help me financially in the future as well.
AND.....starting next Wednesday, work is having another 16 week Biggest Loser campaign to lose weight. I thought why not? I don't have anything else going on, right? I really didn't do too bad the last go around (16 weeks) considering that I was off my feet and healing from surgery. Only a .2 pound gain overall. Good thing I walked my ass off the first part of the program!
So, what is new in your life may I ask?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Life's Blessings
To some, being rich means having lots of money. To me, it means much more than that.
To some, family means the group of people to which you were born, and thus inherited. To me, it means much more than that.
To some, being lucky means being successful at everything you do. To me, it means much more than that.
To some, being blessed means being lucky, being rich and having a family. To me it means much more - way more than that!
I recently had foot surgery, again. Having hammertoe is a pain in the foot, pun intended. Having to ask for help really is a major problem for me. When I had foot surgery the first time, I had to ask for help getting to the surgery center and back. I was lucky enough to have a person in my life (thanks Deann) that was able and willing to do this for me. I had people check in on me, call me, and etc., for which I was grateful. This time, I had to ask for much more than that.
You've heard the saying that you don't chose the family into which you are born, right? Where would I be without my chosen family? I have a sign in my kitchen that says "Friends are the family ones finds along the way." This is so true for me and how lucky am I? I am truly blessed with my chosen family. When I pass on, I want/need to have my chosen family sitting with my family into which I was born. They are as important, and at times more so than others, as my blood family. I expressed this to Deann this past weekend and the more I think of this, the more I am determined to make this an absolute (no I am not being morbid, but did have a funeral recently that has me thinking).
I don't consider myself to be a friend to the world, however I feel that I do try to be helpful to anyone in need. I am very picky about those that I call my friend. I really don't have a lot but the ones that I do have have been around for a long time. I am not opposed to meeting and making new friends, but it takes a lot for a person to be considered my true friend. I have those that I call a friend and they are in the lighter sense of the word. But when push comes to shove, I have my family friends and they know who they are.
I would do just about anything for my friends, but for my family friends I WILL do ANYTHING, all they have to do is say the word. It has just taken me this long to realize that this is a two way street and they will do ANYTHING for me, all I had to do was say the word. This last surgery period has been a testament to this. I had a situation that required some transferring of me from one family friend member to another. WOW! Did they come through for me or what?!
I am blessed! I am rich with family friends that makes me feel rich and lucky.
To some, family means the group of people to which you were born, and thus inherited. To me, it means much more than that.
To some, being lucky means being successful at everything you do. To me, it means much more than that.
To some, being blessed means being lucky, being rich and having a family. To me it means much more - way more than that!
I recently had foot surgery, again. Having hammertoe is a pain in the foot, pun intended. Having to ask for help really is a major problem for me. When I had foot surgery the first time, I had to ask for help getting to the surgery center and back. I was lucky enough to have a person in my life (thanks Deann) that was able and willing to do this for me. I had people check in on me, call me, and etc., for which I was grateful. This time, I had to ask for much more than that.
You've heard the saying that you don't chose the family into which you are born, right? Where would I be without my chosen family? I have a sign in my kitchen that says "Friends are the family ones finds along the way." This is so true for me and how lucky am I? I am truly blessed with my chosen family. When I pass on, I want/need to have my chosen family sitting with my family into which I was born. They are as important, and at times more so than others, as my blood family. I expressed this to Deann this past weekend and the more I think of this, the more I am determined to make this an absolute (no I am not being morbid, but did have a funeral recently that has me thinking).
I don't consider myself to be a friend to the world, however I feel that I do try to be helpful to anyone in need. I am very picky about those that I call my friend. I really don't have a lot but the ones that I do have have been around for a long time. I am not opposed to meeting and making new friends, but it takes a lot for a person to be considered my true friend. I have those that I call a friend and they are in the lighter sense of the word. But when push comes to shove, I have my family friends and they know who they are.
I would do just about anything for my friends, but for my family friends I WILL do ANYTHING, all they have to do is say the word. It has just taken me this long to realize that this is a two way street and they will do ANYTHING for me, all I had to do was say the word. This last surgery period has been a testament to this. I had a situation that required some transferring of me from one family friend member to another. WOW! Did they come through for me or what?!
I am blessed! I am rich with family friends that makes me feel rich and lucky.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
GOD Bless America
I am so tired of the group of people who hang around the main corner down town with their signs that say 'HONK FOR PEACE' or 'BRING OUR TROOPS HOME' or 'END THE WAR'. Do they not realize that we have to defend our country? While I don't agree that Bush started this over the 'mass weapons' possibility, I believe he really wanted to strike back for the 9/11 disaster, without those men and women overseas, these people would not even have the right to congregate on that corner. It is their right, I am just tired of it.
The freedom to do what we do is what it is all about. Regardless of where you fit on the thought scale about the war, you have the right to feel, think and act on it however the law allows. If standing on the corner suits your style, go for it. I am still tired of it.
Those people that died in 9/11 were casualty of a war, one that was not started by us, but was aimed at us, the United States of America. There is no question of this fact. There are those that hate Americans, can't stand Americans and plot against Americans. This was directed toward Americans. I am proud to be an American.
I am further proud of the men and women who serve our country. These are the people who loved our land, our people, our country so much that they made the decision to protect 'US' at a cost. To some, that cost may very well be there life. How does a person say Thank You? It is hard. The prayers I say for them are small in comparison to the prayers that they need to get through this, sustain the strength to overcome the things they have seen, been through and will feel for the rest of their lives.
I live in a great and wonderful country.
Thank you to those that serve this country.
Thank you to those that gave their lives on behalf of my country.
Those people on the corner, they thank you too.
The freedom to do what we do is what it is all about. Regardless of where you fit on the thought scale about the war, you have the right to feel, think and act on it however the law allows. If standing on the corner suits your style, go for it. I am still tired of it.
Those people that died in 9/11 were casualty of a war, one that was not started by us, but was aimed at us, the United States of America. There is no question of this fact. There are those that hate Americans, can't stand Americans and plot against Americans. This was directed toward Americans. I am proud to be an American.
I am further proud of the men and women who serve our country. These are the people who loved our land, our people, our country so much that they made the decision to protect 'US' at a cost. To some, that cost may very well be there life. How does a person say Thank You? It is hard. The prayers I say for them are small in comparison to the prayers that they need to get through this, sustain the strength to overcome the things they have seen, been through and will feel for the rest of their lives.
I live in a great and wonderful country.
Thank you to those that serve this country.
Thank you to those that gave their lives on behalf of my country.
Those people on the corner, they thank you too.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
My Life and the Merry-go-round!
The weight lost program continues....I have managed to make this a little better than I thought, just not perfect or as serious as I should. The strangest thing is that my employment has decided to step into the mix with a few new offers. The first, The Biggest Loser ASI way. We pay $10 to join and at the end of 16 weeks, the person that wins the biggest percentage of their body weight wins this pot. In addition, for every pound you gain over 1/2 pound, you have to pay $1 overage fee. The person that has the greatest number of pound lost at the end of 16 weeks, wins the overage money pot.
Well, the start at workd did not go as smoothly as planned, which is a lot like my start with this idea over a month ago! I found that the pounds are not coming off as easily as they did 5 years ago, which is depressing in itself. I also found that it is making me a little moody about trying. Anyway, the scales used for the weigh-in turned out to be faulty, so we have new scales with the second week weigh-in; the first week weigh-in didn't count.
ASI has also purchased 50 pedometers for a Walk Fitness program - turns out the first ones ordered were faulty as well. It would count movement even if you were sitting at your desk. So they had to order new ones. Received those and haven't walked much since due to rain, being out of town, etc. OY!!! I am really having a time with this round of watching food and exercising.
I just returned home from a few days in St. Louis. It started with Marcy and I going to the Billy Joel/Elton John concert on Thursday evening. The original plan was for me to park and North Hanley metro and meet Marcy at Union Station for dinner, where we would then go to the concert, she would ride back with me on the metro to my vehicle, I would drive her to her vehicle, then follow her home. WELL....due to work being not so busy, I took off early. I drove to Scott Air Force base, met Marcy, we grabbed a sandwich, took the metro to the site of the concert and LOVED EVERY MUSIC NOTE PLAYED BY THE TWO GREATEST MUSICIAN'S EVER!!!! What I didn't love were the seats....my ass was just too wide!
When the concert was over, we stopped at the restrooms, we stopped at the merchandise booth, then we went to the metro stop. The platform was jammed packed full of people. The gentleman from the Metrolink informed us that the next metro to Scott Air Force Base would be there around midnight. Twenty minutes seemed no problem to wait for the next train compared to being sardines on the platform. We waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. Turns out that that guy was wrong. The train we didn't catch was the last one to Scott Air Force Base. OMG!!!! Marcy found out that there was a shuttle from Fairview Heights to Scott Air Force Base. Well, we caught the last train to Fairview Heights, which was a lot closer to our vehicles, but still 15 miles away. By the time we got there, we think all shuttles have stopped. We really believe that they had, but the gentleman who ended up taking us home did so out of the kindness of his heart. Thank you Steve! We love you and are blessed that you were working that night. :-) Got back to Marcy's about 3 a.m., whew, we made it without having to call Tom to come get us (which meant he would have had to get both children out of bed, load them up and drive, etc...). Had we just stuck to the original plan, we would have been home by 12:30 or so; hindsight!
Friday was a relaxing day for me...Marcy on the other hand, had to get Evan up and off to school. She then had an appointment with Colby's therapist at 8:30, but waited to get me up until after she returned home. Colby got the honor of actually waking me up. I got to see all his vehicles, tractors, bobcats, cranes, and machines I have no clue what they were called. But he did and could tell you what their purpose was! After a shower, Marcy and I made a late breakfast, followed by a trip to return a movie and walking around Wal-Mart. Marcy lives in a small town, so you have to drive 10 miles to the next town to go to a Wal-Mart. In between you see nothing but farmland. Really pretty if that is your thing.
Friday evening - pork steaks on the grill, followed by me watching the boys and neighbor girl running through the sprinklers while Marcy and Tom went to St. Charles tent shopping. Once the fun wore off, the boys went into the shower. It didn't take long for Colby to drop off to sleep on the couch, but Evan was still up when mom and dad arrived. Stormed like the dickens that night too, but I was sleeping in the basement, so no worries :)
Saturday, I met my friend Lisa for breakfast, then followed her back to Catherine's for shopping. I didn't NEED any clothes; just wanted some :) so I got some! Then I traveled to five different Wal-Mart's looking for matching gold napkins, something I had 12 of and needed 12 more to get for my parent's 50th anniversary that will be next year. I have given up and will be returning the 12 I have - it just isn't worth the driving around I am doing right now.
Today - I need to go to the office so tomorrow isn't so full of emails and problems. I just need to get my body in the shower. Hasn't happened yet, but the day isn't over either!
Thanks Marcy for a fantastic time at the concert! It was worthy every penny, even with the tight seats! LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT!
My summer calendar has filled up quite full already - something every week between now and the end of July, when I have foot surgery.
May
Next weekend - Ginny's birthday party and Memorial weekend
Last weekend - going to KC for hearing aid repair and to spend time with Becky, Deann, & Laura
June
First weekend is the bridal shower for Jacquie's daughters, Savanah and Caitlyn, both getting married this summer
Second weekend is my mom's 75th birthday, heading to Marshall
Third weekend is the I-70 baseball game in KC plus Father's Day on Sunday
Last weekend is the first of the weddings for Savanah
July
First weekend is Fourth of July - heading to Marshall
Second weekend is 85th birthday party for Norma - heading to Marshall
Third weekend is the girls weekend in KC
Fourth weekend - heading back to KC to pick up Kaycie so that she can stay with me during my recovery time after surgery
August
Have a wedding at the lake, but no invitation yet, so don't know if it is the first or second weekend....hoping second or I may not be able to go! Not certain when I will be able to drive or get Kaycie home yet....hope she isn't too BORED (popular word) while she is here :)
Ascanio's birthday party will be the third weekend and then school starts.
I am sure that other events will pop up before all is said and done. In the midst of the above, I am trying to walk daily (as long as it is not HOT outside). A person has to stay busy I guess - far better than sitting around the house. But sometimes, I want the merry-go-round to stop and take a breather. I just don't know when that will be.
Well, the start at workd did not go as smoothly as planned, which is a lot like my start with this idea over a month ago! I found that the pounds are not coming off as easily as they did 5 years ago, which is depressing in itself. I also found that it is making me a little moody about trying. Anyway, the scales used for the weigh-in turned out to be faulty, so we have new scales with the second week weigh-in; the first week weigh-in didn't count.
ASI has also purchased 50 pedometers for a Walk Fitness program - turns out the first ones ordered were faulty as well. It would count movement even if you were sitting at your desk. So they had to order new ones. Received those and haven't walked much since due to rain, being out of town, etc. OY!!! I am really having a time with this round of watching food and exercising.
I just returned home from a few days in St. Louis. It started with Marcy and I going to the Billy Joel/Elton John concert on Thursday evening. The original plan was for me to park and North Hanley metro and meet Marcy at Union Station for dinner, where we would then go to the concert, she would ride back with me on the metro to my vehicle, I would drive her to her vehicle, then follow her home. WELL....due to work being not so busy, I took off early. I drove to Scott Air Force base, met Marcy, we grabbed a sandwich, took the metro to the site of the concert and LOVED EVERY MUSIC NOTE PLAYED BY THE TWO GREATEST MUSICIAN'S EVER!!!! What I didn't love were the seats....my ass was just too wide!
When the concert was over, we stopped at the restrooms, we stopped at the merchandise booth, then we went to the metro stop. The platform was jammed packed full of people. The gentleman from the Metrolink informed us that the next metro to Scott Air Force Base would be there around midnight. Twenty minutes seemed no problem to wait for the next train compared to being sardines on the platform. We waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. Turns out that that guy was wrong. The train we didn't catch was the last one to Scott Air Force Base. OMG!!!! Marcy found out that there was a shuttle from Fairview Heights to Scott Air Force Base. Well, we caught the last train to Fairview Heights, which was a lot closer to our vehicles, but still 15 miles away. By the time we got there, we think all shuttles have stopped. We really believe that they had, but the gentleman who ended up taking us home did so out of the kindness of his heart. Thank you Steve! We love you and are blessed that you were working that night. :-) Got back to Marcy's about 3 a.m., whew, we made it without having to call Tom to come get us (which meant he would have had to get both children out of bed, load them up and drive, etc...). Had we just stuck to the original plan, we would have been home by 12:30 or so; hindsight!
Friday was a relaxing day for me...Marcy on the other hand, had to get Evan up and off to school. She then had an appointment with Colby's therapist at 8:30, but waited to get me up until after she returned home. Colby got the honor of actually waking me up. I got to see all his vehicles, tractors, bobcats, cranes, and machines I have no clue what they were called. But he did and could tell you what their purpose was! After a shower, Marcy and I made a late breakfast, followed by a trip to return a movie and walking around Wal-Mart. Marcy lives in a small town, so you have to drive 10 miles to the next town to go to a Wal-Mart. In between you see nothing but farmland. Really pretty if that is your thing.
Friday evening - pork steaks on the grill, followed by me watching the boys and neighbor girl running through the sprinklers while Marcy and Tom went to St. Charles tent shopping. Once the fun wore off, the boys went into the shower. It didn't take long for Colby to drop off to sleep on the couch, but Evan was still up when mom and dad arrived. Stormed like the dickens that night too, but I was sleeping in the basement, so no worries :)
Saturday, I met my friend Lisa for breakfast, then followed her back to Catherine's for shopping. I didn't NEED any clothes; just wanted some :) so I got some! Then I traveled to five different Wal-Mart's looking for matching gold napkins, something I had 12 of and needed 12 more to get for my parent's 50th anniversary that will be next year. I have given up and will be returning the 12 I have - it just isn't worth the driving around I am doing right now.
Today - I need to go to the office so tomorrow isn't so full of emails and problems. I just need to get my body in the shower. Hasn't happened yet, but the day isn't over either!
Thanks Marcy for a fantastic time at the concert! It was worthy every penny, even with the tight seats! LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT!
My summer calendar has filled up quite full already - something every week between now and the end of July, when I have foot surgery.
May
Next weekend - Ginny's birthday party and Memorial weekend
Last weekend - going to KC for hearing aid repair and to spend time with Becky, Deann, & Laura
June
First weekend is the bridal shower for Jacquie's daughters, Savanah and Caitlyn, both getting married this summer
Second weekend is my mom's 75th birthday, heading to Marshall
Third weekend is the I-70 baseball game in KC plus Father's Day on Sunday
Last weekend is the first of the weddings for Savanah
July
First weekend is Fourth of July - heading to Marshall
Second weekend is 85th birthday party for Norma - heading to Marshall
Third weekend is the girls weekend in KC
Fourth weekend - heading back to KC to pick up Kaycie so that she can stay with me during my recovery time after surgery
August
Have a wedding at the lake, but no invitation yet, so don't know if it is the first or second weekend....hoping second or I may not be able to go! Not certain when I will be able to drive or get Kaycie home yet....hope she isn't too BORED (popular word) while she is here :)
Ascanio's birthday party will be the third weekend and then school starts.
I am sure that other events will pop up before all is said and done. In the midst of the above, I am trying to walk daily (as long as it is not HOT outside). A person has to stay busy I guess - far better than sitting around the house. But sometimes, I want the merry-go-round to stop and take a breather. I just don't know when that will be.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
It's A Brand New Day....again
Miss Ashley has decided that it is time to take off some weight (the four letter word is NOT allowed) and wants me to do it with her. While I am not opposed to taking off some weight, for some reason starting on a Wednesday seems rather strange. Yes, we are starting tomorrow with emailing each other our weights. Truthfully, I am not certain I am in the right frame of mind to make this work right now. But I will cheerfully, diligently, and willingly try - scratch that - I will go forward with this endeavor. Ready or not Ashley, here we go!
Loosing weight, something almost every one wants or needs to do, but seldom finds that the experience is successful. Weight Watchers is the way I have gone in the past and I will be honest with you, I lost over 60 pounds, kept off 45 -50 pounds of that weight and have more to go. It is not about the number's honestly; it is more about feeling better, eating healthier and being able to do more. I watch The Biggest Loser show faithfully since it first aired. I find it an inspiration to know that people who weigh as much as I do not only loose it, but they keep it off. But I don't have my own coach to make me do the exercises and watch what I eat. That is MY job and I am not a very good participant most of the time.
With Weight Watchers, I was able to eat the food I like, not worry about eating food I didn't like and still managed to loose weight. Seems impossible, but true. If I can do it once, I can do it again. The first time I started to loose the weight, it was all about eating and watching what I eat. I have to do more in regards to exercise, but it just isn't that easy for me. I will have to put some thought into this and see where this takes me. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. One meal at a time; one bite at a time; one point at a time.
God Bless Marcy!
I called Marcy, who also has used Weight Watchers and told her that Ashley called me, so now I am calling her, and the three of us are doing this together. Okay, she says. That's it. Just OKAY! How wonderful is that? I am not going to complain and will focus on this and the goals ahead. My first goal is 15 pounds....that's all, just 15 pounds. This will put me in the 2's (you know what I mean, don't you ladies?) Then I will set a new goal, but first things first.
It's A Brand New Day! What is that quote from 'Sister Act 2'? "If you wanna be somebody; If you wanna go somewhere; You better wake up and pay attention" Well lookout world, I am coming out!
Loosing weight, something almost every one wants or needs to do, but seldom finds that the experience is successful. Weight Watchers is the way I have gone in the past and I will be honest with you, I lost over 60 pounds, kept off 45 -50 pounds of that weight and have more to go. It is not about the number's honestly; it is more about feeling better, eating healthier and being able to do more. I watch The Biggest Loser show faithfully since it first aired. I find it an inspiration to know that people who weigh as much as I do not only loose it, but they keep it off. But I don't have my own coach to make me do the exercises and watch what I eat. That is MY job and I am not a very good participant most of the time.
With Weight Watchers, I was able to eat the food I like, not worry about eating food I didn't like and still managed to loose weight. Seems impossible, but true. If I can do it once, I can do it again. The first time I started to loose the weight, it was all about eating and watching what I eat. I have to do more in regards to exercise, but it just isn't that easy for me. I will have to put some thought into this and see where this takes me. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. One meal at a time; one bite at a time; one point at a time.
God Bless Marcy!
I called Marcy, who also has used Weight Watchers and told her that Ashley called me, so now I am calling her, and the three of us are doing this together. Okay, she says. That's it. Just OKAY! How wonderful is that? I am not going to complain and will focus on this and the goals ahead. My first goal is 15 pounds....that's all, just 15 pounds. This will put me in the 2's (you know what I mean, don't you ladies?) Then I will set a new goal, but first things first.
It's A Brand New Day! What is that quote from 'Sister Act 2'? "If you wanna be somebody; If you wanna go somewhere; You better wake up and pay attention" Well lookout world, I am coming out!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Turning the World on With His Smile :)
Ascanio is almost 8 months old, but his mommy says he is over 7 months old. She is in denial! Her little boy is growing up. He is such a joy to be around and so bright. He laughs with his eyes, but what gets me is the giggles and laugh out loud sounds he makes. There is nothing like hearing it and I try my best to make it happen. He is so strong, stubborn and smart. Nothing like braggin' rights!
The most expressive eyes I have seen. I love them!
The most expressive eyes I have seen. I love them!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Some days.....
Some days, I feel like I am on auto pilot.
Some days, I feel like I have no life.
Some days, I feel older than I am and as old as I tell everyone I am.
Some days, I feel like I know nothing.
Some days, I feel like I know more than the doctors.
Some days, I really miss my parents and just want to go home - their home.
Some days, I really miss reading my books.
Some days, I feel separated from my biological family and closer to my chosen family.
Some days, I feel so MUCH and feel so LITTLE at the same time.
Some days, I have a zillion things to do and just can't get a thing done.
Some days, the do-to list actually gets pitched in the trash.
Some days, I crave chocolate SO BAD, I eat it from the Hershey's bottle by spoon because that's all I have handy.
Some days, I wonder what the hell it up by older brother's butt and warped mind.
Some days, I REALLY miss Amber.
Some days, I feel like I have lost my connection to God.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will never be the same, the good times are over.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will be greater than ever.
Some day, I want to finish organizing my pictures and put more on my walls.
Some day, I want to lose more weight.
Some day, I want to get my books out of storage.
Some day, I want to win the lottery - oh wait, you have to play first!
Some day, I want to be able to look back in my life and say that I did make a difference.
Some day, I want to move again, but it won't be this year (yes, I am staying here another year)
Some day, I want to be able to get another pet.
Some day, I want to have nicer furniture.
Some day, I want to be able to make enough money to live comfortably.
Some day, I will regret some of things I wanted to do and didn't.
Today, I am thankful for so many things: the love of my parents and family, my health, my job, my apartment, my friends, the children in my life, the people I work with. I get such a kick out of the smiles on Ascanio's face and the how he smiles with his eyes, the wonder of the new born baby Jacob Truman, the joy of hanging with Elayna, the laughter and love from my nieces and nephew. I am able to go up and down the stairs, see the wonderful changing of the colors from dead of winter to the brightness of spring, smell the fresh scent of rain washing the earth, hear the birds sing and children playing on the days by hearing aids aren't acting up, and I know that tomorrow is another day. Today, I am thankful that I am catching up on my sleep too!
Some days, I feel like I have no life.
Some days, I feel older than I am and as old as I tell everyone I am.
Some days, I feel like I know nothing.
Some days, I feel like I know more than the doctors.
Some days, I really miss my parents and just want to go home - their home.
Some days, I really miss reading my books.
Some days, I feel separated from my biological family and closer to my chosen family.
Some days, I feel so MUCH and feel so LITTLE at the same time.
Some days, I have a zillion things to do and just can't get a thing done.
Some days, the do-to list actually gets pitched in the trash.
Some days, I crave chocolate SO BAD, I eat it from the Hershey's bottle by spoon because that's all I have handy.
Some days, I wonder what the hell it up by older brother's butt and warped mind.
Some days, I REALLY miss Amber.
Some days, I feel like I have lost my connection to God.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will never be the same, the good times are over.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will be greater than ever.
Some day, I want to finish organizing my pictures and put more on my walls.
Some day, I want to lose more weight.
Some day, I want to get my books out of storage.
Some day, I want to win the lottery - oh wait, you have to play first!
Some day, I want to be able to look back in my life and say that I did make a difference.
Some day, I want to move again, but it won't be this year (yes, I am staying here another year)
Some day, I want to be able to get another pet.
Some day, I want to have nicer furniture.
Some day, I want to be able to make enough money to live comfortably.
Some day, I will regret some of things I wanted to do and didn't.
Today, I am thankful for so many things: the love of my parents and family, my health, my job, my apartment, my friends, the children in my life, the people I work with. I get such a kick out of the smiles on Ascanio's face and the how he smiles with his eyes, the wonder of the new born baby Jacob Truman, the joy of hanging with Elayna, the laughter and love from my nieces and nephew. I am able to go up and down the stairs, see the wonderful changing of the colors from dead of winter to the brightness of spring, smell the fresh scent of rain washing the earth, hear the birds sing and children playing on the days by hearing aids aren't acting up, and I know that tomorrow is another day. Today, I am thankful that I am catching up on my sleep too!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Busy, busy, busy!
It is already the end of the first week of February of the new year. Gang, I am not sure WHERE the heck the time has gone, but I know I have spent most of it at my job! It is unbelievable the amount of claims that are being sent in to be processed right now. It started with Monday and 3,000 claims being received and has not let up since then. We are about a day behind schedule and everyone has been asked to work 4 hours overtime this weekend - not mandatory mind you, but if not enough people do it, that will be next. I already feel like I live there and when I get home, I am just too wiped to do much of anything.
I saw an old friend this week, my doctor before I moved to KC. She moved into a new business with 3 other women doctor's and were accepting new patients. Since I had been shopping around for a primary care physician since my return from KC, this was just opportunity knocking! How sad is it that getting a primary care doctor makes me happy? Very sad - but when you are 58, that's what you live for, a good doctor!
It is time to go get my boobs squeezed again as it has been 4 years come April (now you know why it was good to get a primary care doctor!). I am so not looking forward to it and will be glad to get it over with. An evil part of life, one I will live through. One of the ladies at work had her boobs squeezed last week and they found a shadow on the x-ray. She is a worrier, which makes this a bad time until she sees her doctor next week. The shadow could be anything, but she goes for the worse. Not certain how I would react if it was happening to me, so I just try to be supportive.
I can see that the sun is coming up later and still in the horizon as I drive home from work before dark. Spring is not far away when it is 6:30 at night and I still see stripes of orange, pink and blue in the sky! What a beautiful sight! God really has magnificant colors doesn't he? Crayolas just don't come close!
I made a big pot of ham and beans earlier this week - it was nasty. I took them to work and the next thing I know, I hear one of them tell me that the beans were crunchy - UGH!!! They are in the fridge, but I am going to pitch them this weekend (been too tired to do it since). I hate the waste, trust me, but they won't get eaten. It will be a while before I try to make another pot, I tell you...it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Some of the people at work had more than one bowl and others were throwing the first one away, I was one of them!
I helped my sister do taxes via phone last night...what a nightmare. This was the first time she did them on line. She did it last week and did just fine, except she put the incorrect routing number to her bank in the blanks. This was caught as the numbers must be 9 digits and I guess she didn't have that many. Anyway, she spent 4 hours or more trying to 'resubmit' online. I hate to tell her but I think she is going to have to mail it in and mark it revised. I don't think she is going to be able to resubmit or correct online. I have not had any problems with my taxes, in fact my funds are suppose to be here this weekend. It is hard when I do an EZ form and she doesn't, hell my form has 20 lines max and hers has 70 or more I think!
My brother wrote yesterday and asked if I would like a girls weekend. I would love a girls weekend but I have to work 4 hours sometime on Saturday or Sunday. I was so busy yesterday, I didn't get time to write him back. I am sure that he is looking ahead to next weekend, Valentine's weekend so maybe by then, we will be caught up at work and I can have a girls weekend! I miss seeing them! Ginny is growing up so fast now and Katie is getting older and it shows. All three of them are beautiful girls. Becca may not be coming as she is old enough to have a social life :) Guess I will find out today!
Got up early and now it is my regular time to get ready for work. I am tired, tired, tired. I have a feeling that tomorrow is not going to be my four hours at work!
I saw an old friend this week, my doctor before I moved to KC. She moved into a new business with 3 other women doctor's and were accepting new patients. Since I had been shopping around for a primary care physician since my return from KC, this was just opportunity knocking! How sad is it that getting a primary care doctor makes me happy? Very sad - but when you are 58, that's what you live for, a good doctor!
It is time to go get my boobs squeezed again as it has been 4 years come April (now you know why it was good to get a primary care doctor!). I am so not looking forward to it and will be glad to get it over with. An evil part of life, one I will live through. One of the ladies at work had her boobs squeezed last week and they found a shadow on the x-ray. She is a worrier, which makes this a bad time until she sees her doctor next week. The shadow could be anything, but she goes for the worse. Not certain how I would react if it was happening to me, so I just try to be supportive.
I can see that the sun is coming up later and still in the horizon as I drive home from work before dark. Spring is not far away when it is 6:30 at night and I still see stripes of orange, pink and blue in the sky! What a beautiful sight! God really has magnificant colors doesn't he? Crayolas just don't come close!
I made a big pot of ham and beans earlier this week - it was nasty. I took them to work and the next thing I know, I hear one of them tell me that the beans were crunchy - UGH!!! They are in the fridge, but I am going to pitch them this weekend (been too tired to do it since). I hate the waste, trust me, but they won't get eaten. It will be a while before I try to make another pot, I tell you...it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Some of the people at work had more than one bowl and others were throwing the first one away, I was one of them!
I helped my sister do taxes via phone last night...what a nightmare. This was the first time she did them on line. She did it last week and did just fine, except she put the incorrect routing number to her bank in the blanks. This was caught as the numbers must be 9 digits and I guess she didn't have that many. Anyway, she spent 4 hours or more trying to 'resubmit' online. I hate to tell her but I think she is going to have to mail it in and mark it revised. I don't think she is going to be able to resubmit or correct online. I have not had any problems with my taxes, in fact my funds are suppose to be here this weekend. It is hard when I do an EZ form and she doesn't, hell my form has 20 lines max and hers has 70 or more I think!
My brother wrote yesterday and asked if I would like a girls weekend. I would love a girls weekend but I have to work 4 hours sometime on Saturday or Sunday. I was so busy yesterday, I didn't get time to write him back. I am sure that he is looking ahead to next weekend, Valentine's weekend so maybe by then, we will be caught up at work and I can have a girls weekend! I miss seeing them! Ginny is growing up so fast now and Katie is getting older and it shows. All three of them are beautiful girls. Becca may not be coming as she is old enough to have a social life :) Guess I will find out today!
Got up early and now it is my regular time to get ready for work. I am tired, tired, tired. I have a feeling that tomorrow is not going to be my four hours at work!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Happy New Year!
Well Christmas AND New Year celebrations are now over, but my wishes are still valid :)
I don't know about you, but my holidays were AWESOME! Two things missing - Ashley and Eric - that would have made this year really OUTSTANDING! I had four days off from work for Christmas and that just added to the great feelings. Last year I had four days off too and was sick for the entire Christmas time as well as extending to the New Years. Ugly!
I left early on New Year's Eve and took another four days off while I ran around KC with my friends. That was a blast. New Year's Eve was spent with Deann's family at her parents. I was the designated driver, which was okay with me. Laura and I drove back to her house, then went to Deann's for New Year's day with her family AND Tim's parents. Great time! Great time!
I went to Becky's for the final two nights in KC and proceeded to lock myself out of my van before I even got to her house. After calling the locksmith and he got there, come to find out that the back door had not connected and therefore was not locked! Oh well, who knew that after trying three doors out of five, I should have kept going? Not me, but we have a new theme now...Check All The Doors! You might have a get out of jail card waiting!!!
Becky and I ran around on Saturday - it was so warm!! Wonderful weekend to be sure. I found lots of after Christmas sale stuff for my mom, who was very appreciative. I found some things for me too, but mom got really lucky. Who can pass up 75% off sale? Not me!!
Going back to work on Monday was hard...I had over 300 emails waiting for me! Took me all week to get caught up, just to get behind again last week. Had a person out for two days that meant I had to do part of their job, which took priority over my job. Now I am behind, way behind again. I went in for four hours today and really didn't put a dent in it to be honest. I am getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and hair, getting dressed and driving myself to that office. With any luck, I will see no one! And if I do see someone, too bad - got stuff happening man!
Ashley got engaged Christmas Eve! The wedding has been set for St. Patrick's Day. Judy, Kaycie and I are flying out there for the wedding. Robert wanted to rent an RV and all of us ride but that would take too many days to get there and drive back. It is just too far. It would have worked if she was just a little bit closer! I don't know if his family will make it or not; my mom and dad are not able to make the trip.
I am looking forward to the trip, even if it will use up all my vacation days practically and all my money from taxes. I have never been to Washington or Oregon, so this will be fun. Judy and Kaycie are flying Northwest and I am flying American Airlines. We go on the same day, but depart and arrive at different times. Doesn't bother me - I am the one that has to wait around - four hour lay over in Dallas and four hour wait for them to arrive in Seattle. Coming home, not as bad, although....leaving at 6:10 a.m. I am NOT a morning person, that is all I have to say!
Marcy called me with wonderful news today. Billy Joel and Elton John are going to be in ST. Louis in May. Sign me up lady! Yes, we are in the nose bleed section, but this is Billy Joel and Elton John!!! Worth it, I promise you. This will be the second time she and I have seen them together plus we saw Elton John when she lived in Texas. Billy and Elton do not know this, but they go way back with Marcy and I! Loving this!
My new year is starting out with a bang and the wheel is moving along rather fast. I just hope that I can keep the pace. Another year and another birthday = 57 years old now...try that on for size people. Live! Love! Laugh! I am.
I don't know about you, but my holidays were AWESOME! Two things missing - Ashley and Eric - that would have made this year really OUTSTANDING! I had four days off from work for Christmas and that just added to the great feelings. Last year I had four days off too and was sick for the entire Christmas time as well as extending to the New Years. Ugly!
I left early on New Year's Eve and took another four days off while I ran around KC with my friends. That was a blast. New Year's Eve was spent with Deann's family at her parents. I was the designated driver, which was okay with me. Laura and I drove back to her house, then went to Deann's for New Year's day with her family AND Tim's parents. Great time! Great time!
I went to Becky's for the final two nights in KC and proceeded to lock myself out of my van before I even got to her house. After calling the locksmith and he got there, come to find out that the back door had not connected and therefore was not locked! Oh well, who knew that after trying three doors out of five, I should have kept going? Not me, but we have a new theme now...Check All The Doors! You might have a get out of jail card waiting!!!
Becky and I ran around on Saturday - it was so warm!! Wonderful weekend to be sure. I found lots of after Christmas sale stuff for my mom, who was very appreciative. I found some things for me too, but mom got really lucky. Who can pass up 75% off sale? Not me!!
Going back to work on Monday was hard...I had over 300 emails waiting for me! Took me all week to get caught up, just to get behind again last week. Had a person out for two days that meant I had to do part of their job, which took priority over my job. Now I am behind, way behind again. I went in for four hours today and really didn't put a dent in it to be honest. I am getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and hair, getting dressed and driving myself to that office. With any luck, I will see no one! And if I do see someone, too bad - got stuff happening man!
Ashley got engaged Christmas Eve! The wedding has been set for St. Patrick's Day. Judy, Kaycie and I are flying out there for the wedding. Robert wanted to rent an RV and all of us ride but that would take too many days to get there and drive back. It is just too far. It would have worked if she was just a little bit closer! I don't know if his family will make it or not; my mom and dad are not able to make the trip.
I am looking forward to the trip, even if it will use up all my vacation days practically and all my money from taxes. I have never been to Washington or Oregon, so this will be fun. Judy and Kaycie are flying Northwest and I am flying American Airlines. We go on the same day, but depart and arrive at different times. Doesn't bother me - I am the one that has to wait around - four hour lay over in Dallas and four hour wait for them to arrive in Seattle. Coming home, not as bad, although....leaving at 6:10 a.m. I am NOT a morning person, that is all I have to say!
Marcy called me with wonderful news today. Billy Joel and Elton John are going to be in ST. Louis in May. Sign me up lady! Yes, we are in the nose bleed section, but this is Billy Joel and Elton John!!! Worth it, I promise you. This will be the second time she and I have seen them together plus we saw Elton John when she lived in Texas. Billy and Elton do not know this, but they go way back with Marcy and I! Loving this!
My new year is starting out with a bang and the wheel is moving along rather fast. I just hope that I can keep the pace. Another year and another birthday = 57 years old now...try that on for size people. Live! Love! Laugh! I am.
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