Miss Ashley has decided that it is time to take off some weight (the four letter word is NOT allowed) and wants me to do it with her. While I am not opposed to taking off some weight, for some reason starting on a Wednesday seems rather strange. Yes, we are starting tomorrow with emailing each other our weights. Truthfully, I am not certain I am in the right frame of mind to make this work right now. But I will cheerfully, diligently, and willingly try - scratch that - I will go forward with this endeavor. Ready or not Ashley, here we go!
Loosing weight, something almost every one wants or needs to do, but seldom finds that the experience is successful. Weight Watchers is the way I have gone in the past and I will be honest with you, I lost over 60 pounds, kept off 45 -50 pounds of that weight and have more to go. It is not about the number's honestly; it is more about feeling better, eating healthier and being able to do more. I watch The Biggest Loser show faithfully since it first aired. I find it an inspiration to know that people who weigh as much as I do not only loose it, but they keep it off. But I don't have my own coach to make me do the exercises and watch what I eat. That is MY job and I am not a very good participant most of the time.
With Weight Watchers, I was able to eat the food I like, not worry about eating food I didn't like and still managed to loose weight. Seems impossible, but true. If I can do it once, I can do it again. The first time I started to loose the weight, it was all about eating and watching what I eat. I have to do more in regards to exercise, but it just isn't that easy for me. I will have to put some thought into this and see where this takes me. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. One meal at a time; one bite at a time; one point at a time.
God Bless Marcy!
I called Marcy, who also has used Weight Watchers and told her that Ashley called me, so now I am calling her, and the three of us are doing this together. Okay, she says. That's it. Just OKAY! How wonderful is that? I am not going to complain and will focus on this and the goals ahead. My first goal is 15 pounds....that's all, just 15 pounds. This will put me in the 2's (you know what I mean, don't you ladies?) Then I will set a new goal, but first things first.
It's A Brand New Day! What is that quote from 'Sister Act 2'? "If you wanna be somebody; If you wanna go somewhere; You better wake up and pay attention" Well lookout world, I am coming out!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Turning the World on With His Smile :)
Ascanio is almost 8 months old, but his mommy says he is over 7 months old. She is in denial! Her little boy is growing up. He is such a joy to be around and so bright. He laughs with his eyes, but what gets me is the giggles and laugh out loud sounds he makes. There is nothing like hearing it and I try my best to make it happen. He is so strong, stubborn and smart. Nothing like braggin' rights!
The most expressive eyes I have seen. I love them!
The most expressive eyes I have seen. I love them!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Some days.....
Some days, I feel like I am on auto pilot.
Some days, I feel like I have no life.
Some days, I feel older than I am and as old as I tell everyone I am.
Some days, I feel like I know nothing.
Some days, I feel like I know more than the doctors.
Some days, I really miss my parents and just want to go home - their home.
Some days, I really miss reading my books.
Some days, I feel separated from my biological family and closer to my chosen family.
Some days, I feel so MUCH and feel so LITTLE at the same time.
Some days, I have a zillion things to do and just can't get a thing done.
Some days, the do-to list actually gets pitched in the trash.
Some days, I crave chocolate SO BAD, I eat it from the Hershey's bottle by spoon because that's all I have handy.
Some days, I wonder what the hell it up by older brother's butt and warped mind.
Some days, I REALLY miss Amber.
Some days, I feel like I have lost my connection to God.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will never be the same, the good times are over.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will be greater than ever.
Some day, I want to finish organizing my pictures and put more on my walls.
Some day, I want to lose more weight.
Some day, I want to get my books out of storage.
Some day, I want to win the lottery - oh wait, you have to play first!
Some day, I want to be able to look back in my life and say that I did make a difference.
Some day, I want to move again, but it won't be this year (yes, I am staying here another year)
Some day, I want to be able to get another pet.
Some day, I want to have nicer furniture.
Some day, I want to be able to make enough money to live comfortably.
Some day, I will regret some of things I wanted to do and didn't.
Today, I am thankful for so many things: the love of my parents and family, my health, my job, my apartment, my friends, the children in my life, the people I work with. I get such a kick out of the smiles on Ascanio's face and the how he smiles with his eyes, the wonder of the new born baby Jacob Truman, the joy of hanging with Elayna, the laughter and love from my nieces and nephew. I am able to go up and down the stairs, see the wonderful changing of the colors from dead of winter to the brightness of spring, smell the fresh scent of rain washing the earth, hear the birds sing and children playing on the days by hearing aids aren't acting up, and I know that tomorrow is another day. Today, I am thankful that I am catching up on my sleep too!
Some days, I feel like I have no life.
Some days, I feel older than I am and as old as I tell everyone I am.
Some days, I feel like I know nothing.
Some days, I feel like I know more than the doctors.
Some days, I really miss my parents and just want to go home - their home.
Some days, I really miss reading my books.
Some days, I feel separated from my biological family and closer to my chosen family.
Some days, I feel so MUCH and feel so LITTLE at the same time.
Some days, I have a zillion things to do and just can't get a thing done.
Some days, the do-to list actually gets pitched in the trash.
Some days, I crave chocolate SO BAD, I eat it from the Hershey's bottle by spoon because that's all I have handy.
Some days, I wonder what the hell it up by older brother's butt and warped mind.
Some days, I REALLY miss Amber.
Some days, I feel like I have lost my connection to God.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will never be the same, the good times are over.
Some days, I feel that the world as we know it, will be greater than ever.
Some day, I want to finish organizing my pictures and put more on my walls.
Some day, I want to lose more weight.
Some day, I want to get my books out of storage.
Some day, I want to win the lottery - oh wait, you have to play first!
Some day, I want to be able to look back in my life and say that I did make a difference.
Some day, I want to move again, but it won't be this year (yes, I am staying here another year)
Some day, I want to be able to get another pet.
Some day, I want to have nicer furniture.
Some day, I want to be able to make enough money to live comfortably.
Some day, I will regret some of things I wanted to do and didn't.
Today, I am thankful for so many things: the love of my parents and family, my health, my job, my apartment, my friends, the children in my life, the people I work with. I get such a kick out of the smiles on Ascanio's face and the how he smiles with his eyes, the wonder of the new born baby Jacob Truman, the joy of hanging with Elayna, the laughter and love from my nieces and nephew. I am able to go up and down the stairs, see the wonderful changing of the colors from dead of winter to the brightness of spring, smell the fresh scent of rain washing the earth, hear the birds sing and children playing on the days by hearing aids aren't acting up, and I know that tomorrow is another day. Today, I am thankful that I am catching up on my sleep too!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Busy, busy, busy!
It is already the end of the first week of February of the new year. Gang, I am not sure WHERE the heck the time has gone, but I know I have spent most of it at my job! It is unbelievable the amount of claims that are being sent in to be processed right now. It started with Monday and 3,000 claims being received and has not let up since then. We are about a day behind schedule and everyone has been asked to work 4 hours overtime this weekend - not mandatory mind you, but if not enough people do it, that will be next. I already feel like I live there and when I get home, I am just too wiped to do much of anything.
I saw an old friend this week, my doctor before I moved to KC. She moved into a new business with 3 other women doctor's and were accepting new patients. Since I had been shopping around for a primary care physician since my return from KC, this was just opportunity knocking! How sad is it that getting a primary care doctor makes me happy? Very sad - but when you are 58, that's what you live for, a good doctor!
It is time to go get my boobs squeezed again as it has been 4 years come April (now you know why it was good to get a primary care doctor!). I am so not looking forward to it and will be glad to get it over with. An evil part of life, one I will live through. One of the ladies at work had her boobs squeezed last week and they found a shadow on the x-ray. She is a worrier, which makes this a bad time until she sees her doctor next week. The shadow could be anything, but she goes for the worse. Not certain how I would react if it was happening to me, so I just try to be supportive.
I can see that the sun is coming up later and still in the horizon as I drive home from work before dark. Spring is not far away when it is 6:30 at night and I still see stripes of orange, pink and blue in the sky! What a beautiful sight! God really has magnificant colors doesn't he? Crayolas just don't come close!
I made a big pot of ham and beans earlier this week - it was nasty. I took them to work and the next thing I know, I hear one of them tell me that the beans were crunchy - UGH!!! They are in the fridge, but I am going to pitch them this weekend (been too tired to do it since). I hate the waste, trust me, but they won't get eaten. It will be a while before I try to make another pot, I tell you...it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Some of the people at work had more than one bowl and others were throwing the first one away, I was one of them!
I helped my sister do taxes via phone last night...what a nightmare. This was the first time she did them on line. She did it last week and did just fine, except she put the incorrect routing number to her bank in the blanks. This was caught as the numbers must be 9 digits and I guess she didn't have that many. Anyway, she spent 4 hours or more trying to 'resubmit' online. I hate to tell her but I think she is going to have to mail it in and mark it revised. I don't think she is going to be able to resubmit or correct online. I have not had any problems with my taxes, in fact my funds are suppose to be here this weekend. It is hard when I do an EZ form and she doesn't, hell my form has 20 lines max and hers has 70 or more I think!
My brother wrote yesterday and asked if I would like a girls weekend. I would love a girls weekend but I have to work 4 hours sometime on Saturday or Sunday. I was so busy yesterday, I didn't get time to write him back. I am sure that he is looking ahead to next weekend, Valentine's weekend so maybe by then, we will be caught up at work and I can have a girls weekend! I miss seeing them! Ginny is growing up so fast now and Katie is getting older and it shows. All three of them are beautiful girls. Becca may not be coming as she is old enough to have a social life :) Guess I will find out today!
Got up early and now it is my regular time to get ready for work. I am tired, tired, tired. I have a feeling that tomorrow is not going to be my four hours at work!
I saw an old friend this week, my doctor before I moved to KC. She moved into a new business with 3 other women doctor's and were accepting new patients. Since I had been shopping around for a primary care physician since my return from KC, this was just opportunity knocking! How sad is it that getting a primary care doctor makes me happy? Very sad - but when you are 58, that's what you live for, a good doctor!
It is time to go get my boobs squeezed again as it has been 4 years come April (now you know why it was good to get a primary care doctor!). I am so not looking forward to it and will be glad to get it over with. An evil part of life, one I will live through. One of the ladies at work had her boobs squeezed last week and they found a shadow on the x-ray. She is a worrier, which makes this a bad time until she sees her doctor next week. The shadow could be anything, but she goes for the worse. Not certain how I would react if it was happening to me, so I just try to be supportive.
I can see that the sun is coming up later and still in the horizon as I drive home from work before dark. Spring is not far away when it is 6:30 at night and I still see stripes of orange, pink and blue in the sky! What a beautiful sight! God really has magnificant colors doesn't he? Crayolas just don't come close!
I made a big pot of ham and beans earlier this week - it was nasty. I took them to work and the next thing I know, I hear one of them tell me that the beans were crunchy - UGH!!! They are in the fridge, but I am going to pitch them this weekend (been too tired to do it since). I hate the waste, trust me, but they won't get eaten. It will be a while before I try to make another pot, I tell you...it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Some of the people at work had more than one bowl and others were throwing the first one away, I was one of them!
I helped my sister do taxes via phone last night...what a nightmare. This was the first time she did them on line. She did it last week and did just fine, except she put the incorrect routing number to her bank in the blanks. This was caught as the numbers must be 9 digits and I guess she didn't have that many. Anyway, she spent 4 hours or more trying to 'resubmit' online. I hate to tell her but I think she is going to have to mail it in and mark it revised. I don't think she is going to be able to resubmit or correct online. I have not had any problems with my taxes, in fact my funds are suppose to be here this weekend. It is hard when I do an EZ form and she doesn't, hell my form has 20 lines max and hers has 70 or more I think!
My brother wrote yesterday and asked if I would like a girls weekend. I would love a girls weekend but I have to work 4 hours sometime on Saturday or Sunday. I was so busy yesterday, I didn't get time to write him back. I am sure that he is looking ahead to next weekend, Valentine's weekend so maybe by then, we will be caught up at work and I can have a girls weekend! I miss seeing them! Ginny is growing up so fast now and Katie is getting older and it shows. All three of them are beautiful girls. Becca may not be coming as she is old enough to have a social life :) Guess I will find out today!
Got up early and now it is my regular time to get ready for work. I am tired, tired, tired. I have a feeling that tomorrow is not going to be my four hours at work!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Happy New Year!
Well Christmas AND New Year celebrations are now over, but my wishes are still valid :)
I don't know about you, but my holidays were AWESOME! Two things missing - Ashley and Eric - that would have made this year really OUTSTANDING! I had four days off from work for Christmas and that just added to the great feelings. Last year I had four days off too and was sick for the entire Christmas time as well as extending to the New Years. Ugly!
I left early on New Year's Eve and took another four days off while I ran around KC with my friends. That was a blast. New Year's Eve was spent with Deann's family at her parents. I was the designated driver, which was okay with me. Laura and I drove back to her house, then went to Deann's for New Year's day with her family AND Tim's parents. Great time! Great time!
I went to Becky's for the final two nights in KC and proceeded to lock myself out of my van before I even got to her house. After calling the locksmith and he got there, come to find out that the back door had not connected and therefore was not locked! Oh well, who knew that after trying three doors out of five, I should have kept going? Not me, but we have a new theme now...Check All The Doors! You might have a get out of jail card waiting!!!
Becky and I ran around on Saturday - it was so warm!! Wonderful weekend to be sure. I found lots of after Christmas sale stuff for my mom, who was very appreciative. I found some things for me too, but mom got really lucky. Who can pass up 75% off sale? Not me!!
Going back to work on Monday was hard...I had over 300 emails waiting for me! Took me all week to get caught up, just to get behind again last week. Had a person out for two days that meant I had to do part of their job, which took priority over my job. Now I am behind, way behind again. I went in for four hours today and really didn't put a dent in it to be honest. I am getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and hair, getting dressed and driving myself to that office. With any luck, I will see no one! And if I do see someone, too bad - got stuff happening man!
Ashley got engaged Christmas Eve! The wedding has been set for St. Patrick's Day. Judy, Kaycie and I are flying out there for the wedding. Robert wanted to rent an RV and all of us ride but that would take too many days to get there and drive back. It is just too far. It would have worked if she was just a little bit closer! I don't know if his family will make it or not; my mom and dad are not able to make the trip.
I am looking forward to the trip, even if it will use up all my vacation days practically and all my money from taxes. I have never been to Washington or Oregon, so this will be fun. Judy and Kaycie are flying Northwest and I am flying American Airlines. We go on the same day, but depart and arrive at different times. Doesn't bother me - I am the one that has to wait around - four hour lay over in Dallas and four hour wait for them to arrive in Seattle. Coming home, not as bad, although....leaving at 6:10 a.m. I am NOT a morning person, that is all I have to say!
Marcy called me with wonderful news today. Billy Joel and Elton John are going to be in ST. Louis in May. Sign me up lady! Yes, we are in the nose bleed section, but this is Billy Joel and Elton John!!! Worth it, I promise you. This will be the second time she and I have seen them together plus we saw Elton John when she lived in Texas. Billy and Elton do not know this, but they go way back with Marcy and I! Loving this!
My new year is starting out with a bang and the wheel is moving along rather fast. I just hope that I can keep the pace. Another year and another birthday = 57 years old now...try that on for size people. Live! Love! Laugh! I am.
I don't know about you, but my holidays were AWESOME! Two things missing - Ashley and Eric - that would have made this year really OUTSTANDING! I had four days off from work for Christmas and that just added to the great feelings. Last year I had four days off too and was sick for the entire Christmas time as well as extending to the New Years. Ugly!
I left early on New Year's Eve and took another four days off while I ran around KC with my friends. That was a blast. New Year's Eve was spent with Deann's family at her parents. I was the designated driver, which was okay with me. Laura and I drove back to her house, then went to Deann's for New Year's day with her family AND Tim's parents. Great time! Great time!
I went to Becky's for the final two nights in KC and proceeded to lock myself out of my van before I even got to her house. After calling the locksmith and he got there, come to find out that the back door had not connected and therefore was not locked! Oh well, who knew that after trying three doors out of five, I should have kept going? Not me, but we have a new theme now...Check All The Doors! You might have a get out of jail card waiting!!!
Becky and I ran around on Saturday - it was so warm!! Wonderful weekend to be sure. I found lots of after Christmas sale stuff for my mom, who was very appreciative. I found some things for me too, but mom got really lucky. Who can pass up 75% off sale? Not me!!
Going back to work on Monday was hard...I had over 300 emails waiting for me! Took me all week to get caught up, just to get behind again last week. Had a person out for two days that meant I had to do part of their job, which took priority over my job. Now I am behind, way behind again. I went in for four hours today and really didn't put a dent in it to be honest. I am getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and hair, getting dressed and driving myself to that office. With any luck, I will see no one! And if I do see someone, too bad - got stuff happening man!
Ashley got engaged Christmas Eve! The wedding has been set for St. Patrick's Day. Judy, Kaycie and I are flying out there for the wedding. Robert wanted to rent an RV and all of us ride but that would take too many days to get there and drive back. It is just too far. It would have worked if she was just a little bit closer! I don't know if his family will make it or not; my mom and dad are not able to make the trip.
I am looking forward to the trip, even if it will use up all my vacation days practically and all my money from taxes. I have never been to Washington or Oregon, so this will be fun. Judy and Kaycie are flying Northwest and I am flying American Airlines. We go on the same day, but depart and arrive at different times. Doesn't bother me - I am the one that has to wait around - four hour lay over in Dallas and four hour wait for them to arrive in Seattle. Coming home, not as bad, although....leaving at 6:10 a.m. I am NOT a morning person, that is all I have to say!
Marcy called me with wonderful news today. Billy Joel and Elton John are going to be in ST. Louis in May. Sign me up lady! Yes, we are in the nose bleed section, but this is Billy Joel and Elton John!!! Worth it, I promise you. This will be the second time she and I have seen them together plus we saw Elton John when she lived in Texas. Billy and Elton do not know this, but they go way back with Marcy and I! Loving this!
My new year is starting out with a bang and the wheel is moving along rather fast. I just hope that I can keep the pace. Another year and another birthday = 57 years old now...try that on for size people. Live! Love! Laugh! I am.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Santa Claus Is Coming!
I've been making a list and another list, then have to make another one as well...I have to check it once, twice, thrice, etc....While Christmas shopping is going fairly well for me this year, I find that I keep adding to the list, relocating the list (alright! it's lost!), and giving up and starting over. Santa can keep his job 'cause I don't want to help him! Getting too hard.
Life has been busy and I have been tired. Just too tired to write a single word. I thought about it, wanted to, but just didn't have the energy or time to come 'visit'. I am getting a lot done though. It has been crazy this week with a person out sick, someone that I have to step in and do part of their job in addition to my job.
With enrollment deadline, the emails just keep coming. And the stupid ones are right in there! I say that no question is dumb or stupid if you don't know the answer. HOWEVER....(you knew that that was coming, right?) you have GOT to read the information you have in front of you. We send out direct deposit emails, which let's the participants know that reimbursement was generated. Do you know how many emails I get asking when will I get my check? Okay people, what did you think direct deposit was exactly? Or the really bitchy spouse who wants information for the account and we can't give it due to HIPAA...how long has the privacy law been in effect? Worse yet, we just had this email communication three months ago - it hasn't changed people...
Then there are the fun ones, where they send us an email in error and sign it LOVE (that wasn't the first clue, but still..). My favorite will always be the one where they were talking about their 'job done' and it was cosmetic job (reference ears and nose, it was obvious). I didn't even send her a response saying, Hey! Think you sent this in error. I didn't want to embarrass her so I just let her think it is in cyberspace, floating around.
Today, Jacquie and her husband David are coming to town. Bringing me a computer and picking up a toddler bike for the grandson's Christmas. David's b-day is today (Happy Birthday David!) and he purchased a lap top for himself for his birthday. Jacquie is liking that pretty RED computer...but has been told more than once, no! Anyway, the one that he bought two years ago will just sit in the basement, so we made a deal. My computer is almost 10 years old, I am looking forward to hooking up the new one and getting a faster hook-up. First things first!
I don't know exactly what all is taking place today, but it is David's day so what ever he wants. I think I will be invited to eat with them, but if not it's okay. I understand. Obviously, I would rather grab a meal with the two of them, as food is my friend! But I still have a Christmas tree to put up. I will be doing the tree and lights tonight and the decorations tomorrow. I learned a long time ago to take it in stages. I have too many lights AND too many decorations to do it all in one day!
Bad weather coming our way. I thought it was happening today as when I woke up it was dark still with a touch of orange/yellow around the window. A strange color outside people! Tomorrow the rain/sleet/ice/snow it heading our way. Oh what fun it is to slide, I mean ride....
Got to get back to my list, now where did I put that?
Life has been busy and I have been tired. Just too tired to write a single word. I thought about it, wanted to, but just didn't have the energy or time to come 'visit'. I am getting a lot done though. It has been crazy this week with a person out sick, someone that I have to step in and do part of their job in addition to my job.
With enrollment deadline, the emails just keep coming. And the stupid ones are right in there! I say that no question is dumb or stupid if you don't know the answer. HOWEVER....(you knew that that was coming, right?) you have GOT to read the information you have in front of you. We send out direct deposit emails, which let's the participants know that reimbursement was generated. Do you know how many emails I get asking when will I get my check? Okay people, what did you think direct deposit was exactly? Or the really bitchy spouse who wants information for the account and we can't give it due to HIPAA...how long has the privacy law been in effect? Worse yet, we just had this email communication three months ago - it hasn't changed people...
Then there are the fun ones, where they send us an email in error and sign it LOVE (that wasn't the first clue, but still..). My favorite will always be the one where they were talking about their 'job done' and it was cosmetic job (reference ears and nose, it was obvious). I didn't even send her a response saying, Hey! Think you sent this in error. I didn't want to embarrass her so I just let her think it is in cyberspace, floating around.
Today, Jacquie and her husband David are coming to town. Bringing me a computer and picking up a toddler bike for the grandson's Christmas. David's b-day is today (Happy Birthday David!) and he purchased a lap top for himself for his birthday. Jacquie is liking that pretty RED computer...but has been told more than once, no! Anyway, the one that he bought two years ago will just sit in the basement, so we made a deal. My computer is almost 10 years old, I am looking forward to hooking up the new one and getting a faster hook-up. First things first!
I don't know exactly what all is taking place today, but it is David's day so what ever he wants. I think I will be invited to eat with them, but if not it's okay. I understand. Obviously, I would rather grab a meal with the two of them, as food is my friend! But I still have a Christmas tree to put up. I will be doing the tree and lights tonight and the decorations tomorrow. I learned a long time ago to take it in stages. I have too many lights AND too many decorations to do it all in one day!
Bad weather coming our way. I thought it was happening today as when I woke up it was dark still with a touch of orange/yellow around the window. A strange color outside people! Tomorrow the rain/sleet/ice/snow it heading our way. Oh what fun it is to slide, I mean ride....
Got to get back to my list, now where did I put that?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
CREEPY!
I work down town, in a not so safe spot. We have to park in the back of our building across the alley. Now, it isn't so bad for the most part. However, since the time change, it is a little spooky. It is dark and I am on a small path, with a brick wall on one side and a 9 foot drop over a retaining wall to the bank on the other side. No, there are no bars to prevent a person from being pushed, falling or slipping on ice down into that parking lot. I have met a gentleman in the alley twice now. He has been polite and even once let me walk the sidewalk and waited by the alley. The side walk isn't big enough for two people and let me tell you, I debated about walking towards him...In any case, he was just being a nice guy - this time! Yes, my imagination has started running wild upon occasion.
Now, we have to watch in the day time too. Trish left early today and had a person who was obviously agitated, walking back and forth in the alley. He was acting so strange, she called to let us know. A lot of homeless people will take shelter in the small places that we have in different places along the alley. A couple of years ago, a murder took place about two blocks to the east of here. I haven't forgotten this event for a second. Don't tell my mom, she thinks I am safer here than in KC. I may be, but then again... I just find that I am less apt to stay late to work, even if I needed to.
A person can try to be as safe as possible, but there are no guarantees in life. You can only do what is humanly possible. I often wonder if I would have the ability to fight off an attacker. I would like to think that I would try and succeed, but the truth is you just never know. I lock my doors, I look around me as I walk toward my vehicle or door to my house, I always try to be looking around and taking observation, simply because of my hearing, but I am still limited. Grandma and the boogie man has a place in my past...my head and my heart are not always in headed the same place.
I think about the man who 'tested' a stun gun recently as a measure to get a law passed allowing these for protection. Are these better than pepper spray? Does it matter since I don't have either one? A gun simply isn't an option for me. I am reminded of Pam on Army Wives, who has one in her house since she was being stalked. But she was a cop and KNEW how to handle a gun. Yes, I have shot a gun before. You don't get raised on a farm and not understand the basic gun safety, which includes using a gun. I didn't like it, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't use one if I needed it; I just don't want to go there.
When does a person truly feel safe? At what stage do we let go of the fears that lurk in our minds? I think it is health to have a certain level of fear, but I also don't dwell on these things until something happens to bring them to surface.
Now, we have to watch in the day time too. Trish left early today and had a person who was obviously agitated, walking back and forth in the alley. He was acting so strange, she called to let us know. A lot of homeless people will take shelter in the small places that we have in different places along the alley. A couple of years ago, a murder took place about two blocks to the east of here. I haven't forgotten this event for a second. Don't tell my mom, she thinks I am safer here than in KC. I may be, but then again... I just find that I am less apt to stay late to work, even if I needed to.
A person can try to be as safe as possible, but there are no guarantees in life. You can only do what is humanly possible. I often wonder if I would have the ability to fight off an attacker. I would like to think that I would try and succeed, but the truth is you just never know. I lock my doors, I look around me as I walk toward my vehicle or door to my house, I always try to be looking around and taking observation, simply because of my hearing, but I am still limited. Grandma and the boogie man has a place in my past...my head and my heart are not always in headed the same place.
I think about the man who 'tested' a stun gun recently as a measure to get a law passed allowing these for protection. Are these better than pepper spray? Does it matter since I don't have either one? A gun simply isn't an option for me. I am reminded of Pam on Army Wives, who has one in her house since she was being stalked. But she was a cop and KNEW how to handle a gun. Yes, I have shot a gun before. You don't get raised on a farm and not understand the basic gun safety, which includes using a gun. I didn't like it, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't use one if I needed it; I just don't want to go there.
When does a person truly feel safe? At what stage do we let go of the fears that lurk in our minds? I think it is health to have a certain level of fear, but I also don't dwell on these things until something happens to bring them to surface.
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